"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
So you know what they say - you have to know the rules of the game to know how to break them. And recently, someone told me to consider what rules I am living my life by - so I can see what ones I want to reconsider. It's funny because even when it's your own life, sometimes those rules can be hard to recognize. They can run pretty deep, coming from conflicts way back and things you learned long ago.
Think about a simple one - brushing your teeth everyday. It's something I always do without too much thought. My parents taught me to do that long ago, and now it's a habit. That's a rule that does work. But there might be other ones, like "Don't say what you think if others don't agree." For whatever reason, at some time that rule might have helped you get by, so you continue to do it. If you think about it, eating disorders are based in rules that appear to "help" you, on the surface, cope with an issue.
One of my rules? "Listen to what other people tell you about you - they know what they're talking about." Sometimes, it's like I'm not really sure who I am, so it seems like if I go with what everyone else says, they must be right. But sticking to that rule would mean that I wouldn't get to be who I want. Seriously, no one should know me better than me - I'm around 24/7.
So once you start to work out your "shoulds," "musts," and "have-tos," and maybe start to see where they come from, here comes the fun part - figuring out every way you can break them. Because really? You probably don't need them as much as you think. Besides, you're more likely to win if you play the game your way.
