"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
It's almost the end of the school year, and summer will be here soon. And while that's usually an exciting thing, lately I can't help but feel... kinda disappointed. Not because I just love school that much, and don't want to leave. But because, well, this year just didn't quite go as I had hoped.
I think that when the year started out, I had big plans for how it would go. I imagined having oodles of cool friends, an amazingly cute boyfriend, lots of fun adventures, and being really, really happy. Being the most fabulous version of me yet. But somewhere very quickly, those dreams became just that. Dreams. The "cool" people turned out to not be a match at all, and the crazy party scene was not my taste. And I just didn't feel as confident or as happy as I hoped. Suddenly, it felt more like I had really failed. And what are you supposed to do when the "you" you were going to be just doesn't happen to be there?
Looking back, I realize maybe I would've been, could've been, okay. Or maybe, I was really okay all along. Because maybe I did start down the wrong path. But I had good intentions. Maybe losing your direction is all part of the process of getting where you need to be. Besides, is that really how it's supposed to go? Trying to be the one everyone likes? Having rules for who you "have" to be? No. I mean, wanting people to like you is totally normal. And having dreams is no bad thing, either. But at the end of the day, I'd rather be happy, and know that I am a good person that I can like. So maybe the detour was worth it after all.
How about you, FG? What lessons did you learn this year? Where did your travels take you? I would love to hear.
