"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
I have a problem. Actually, it's not me - it's my friends. They complain all the time about how fat they are. The thing is, they're so not! Not at all. And they barely eat anything but salads at lunch and only pick at the snacks now when we have sleepovers. I want to help them see that they're not fat but I don't know how. What should I do?
Hey chica,
It sounds like your friends aren't feeling confident about their bodies right now. I imagine it can be sad or frustrating to see them struggle and feel like you don't know what to do. But first things first: remember that your buds are lucky to have a Fab friend like you looking out for them.
One way you can help is through leading by example. Eat balanced meals and snacks, be confident in yourself, and don't make negative comments about your body. Not only might it inspire them to make positive changes, but it will help you stay strong.
If the body-bashing comes up at lunch, don't join in. It can be tempting to say something like, "No way, you are sooo not fat!" It's fine if you do that, but sometimes that approach just drags the convo on. Instead, wait it out, and then bring up something else you guys like to talk about, whether it's movies, sports, or crushes. Lunchtime is short - spend it having fun, not talking "fat"!
The best time to bring up this weight-y issue is at a sleepover, when you guys can have a heart-to-heart about it. Whatever you say, make it about you. For example, you could say, "I get sad when I hear you guys talking about how fat you think you are. I love you all so much and I think you're beautiful. I hate to see you feel bad about yourselves." What's great about his way of bringing it up is it allows you to say how you feel and gives them the chance to speak up about an issue that's probably been bothering them for a while. Best of all, it gives you all the chance to be open and supportive with each other - exactly what friends are for.
Good luck! If you need more help, I'm always hear for you.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
Got a sitch you'd like help with? Send me your Q by e-mail at fabgalsite@gmail.com or post it in the comments (you can keep it anonymous). I'd love to help!
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