"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
I started thinking yesterday about strengths and weaknesses. I was thinking that even though we usually consider them to be opposites, maybe they're not really that different. Maybe they're more like one thing, flipsides of a coin or a continuum. Maybe being happy and successful is figuring out how to best use your traits in each situation.
For example, I am cautious. Which means I generally don't get myself in dangerous situations (riding in a car without a seatbelt, doing drugs, jumping off a building). But sometimes it means I psych myself out of doing something I do want to do when I get nervous (leading to those "Oh, if only I had..." kind of moments). I am thoughtful - I think about everything all the time - which I believe is what allows me to be a writer, when I can channel it in that direction. But then sometimes I worry too much, and I wish I could turn it off and just breathe.
I also feel like my determination, one of my favorite traits, could be the death of me. It's certainly done me both good and bad. There's nothing inherently wrong with being stubborn or a go-getter, but when you're truly hell-bent on something, it sounds like you are headed in the wrong direction. Being determined has helped me with challenges, like making the cheerleading squad and starting a website (3 years and counting!). But then there are times like when I was resolved to lose weight. I certainly made it happen, but it didn't make me happy. Now it makes me hesitant whenever I start to get in that can't-stop-me-now mindset, because I wonder if I am sending myself down the wrong path.
So yeah, I'm definitely not good at giving things up (see the Diet Coke to my left). But I'm also not good at giving up on things that matter. If I was, would I be here? Definitely not.
You know, we always say that the way to be happy with ourselves and build self-esteem is to embrace and accept our flaws. And I do believe that is a lovely way to live. But maybe, at least sometimes, you can take it one step further, and consider how to use your flaws in a way so that they aren't really flaws at all. Are you nerdy, or are you studious and unique? Are you pushy, or could you be assertive when it matters? Are you absentminded, with your "head in the clouds," or do you have a great imagination in need of a place to go, like art or writing or music?
So don't be scared of your weaknesses. They may just be strengths you haven't figured out how to use yet.
