"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
So this week we talked about taking the good kind of risks. It can be a little scary, but if it's definitely worth it. If you don't know where to start, here is my Top 10 for new things to try:
1. Try a New Activity - Is there something you've wanted to try but have been too afraid to? That's what cheerleading was for me. It could be anything - karate, drama club, student council. You never know where the experience will bring you.
2. Wear Something Crazy - I used to feel funny about wearing dresses, even though I liked them. I just felt like they drew attention. But as long as it's appropriate, that's a good thing! Trying something a little out of the ordinary will help you develop your own style.
3. Branch Out - It's true - your girls are pretty awesome. But there's nothing wrong with expanding your circle, right? Talk to that new girl in class or invite a new teammate to go shopping. You might be surprised what you have in common.
4. Ask Out the Boy - This is probably the scariest of the scary, I know. But really, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, boys do it all the time. It can be really casual - you can even just invite him to hang out with your friends. Who knows? He could be too shy himself.
5. Get Help - It can be really hard for some. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for it, every once in a while. You can't expect yourself to do everything all the time.
6. Break Your Routine - You do things the way you do because you like them. Still, it can be good to mix it up every once in a while. So maybe try that new restaurant that you've been curious about instead of the usual, or switch up your order at Starbucks. You might be surprised.
7. Spend Time with Family - Okay, so this doesn't sound too risky. Think for a minute, though, about that cousin or grandparent that you think you have nothing in common with, and make an effort to spend time getting to know them. You may be able to teach each other something new.
8. Take Center Stage - Fear of public speaking is probably the biggest of them all, but it's pretty silly if you think about it. You really can't die of stage fright. So give it a try, by trying out for the play or even joining the chorus.
9. Journal It - I used to hate journaling, because I didn't like facing my thoughts and putting them on paper. I know a lot of people feel this way. Once you get used to it, though, you'll find it can actually be a really great tool.
10. Face a Silly Fear - Is there something small you're afraid of, for no real reason? For some, it's spiders or rollercoasters. It might be good to take one of those fears, even if they're not a big deal, and face it. If you can do that, you can face any fear.
There you go, Fab Gals! Let me know what kind of good risks you've taken, either by comment or at The Fab Gal Myspace.
So you know I couldn't stop gushing about the book My Feet Aren't Ugly by Debra Beck. I want to tell you about another little exercise that I learned from the book. The instructions were plain and simple - make a list of the things you are afraid of. It's not something I think about that much. The first two were easy - worms and motorcycles. Silly, I know. But they are real enough to me. Then I started to think a little deeper - and realized I'm a bit of scaredy cat! I'm afraid of getting fat. I'm scared of being unattractive or unloved. And I'm scared I'll turn out to be a nobody. Maybe that's just me and I'm completely crazy. But I don't think so.
The funny thing is, what I'm afraid of is not really living a good life. Which is admirable enough. I love life, and I want to make the most of it. But by being afraid of these things, you hold yourself back. Having these fears doesn't stop anything from happening, and in fact, they can turn into something pretty ugly of their own. Eating disorders, for example, are based on fear - fear of gaining weight, fear of losing control. If you, like me, are too scared about being uncool or unpopular or whatever, then life won't really happen for you. And believe me, Fab Gals, life won't wait. Worrying does not slow down the process.
I probably won't ever get over my fear or worms or ride a motorcycle. That's okay with me. But slowly and surely, I'm going to release my fears - and for once, just live. I hope you don't let your fears hold you back either.
What things, big or small, are you afraid of? How has it affected you? Leave a comment to let me know (see the instructions on the left panel).
