"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
So you know how I am - I always get a kick out of crazy new experiences. Well, yesterday brought me one: going to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Not for me, but for a school project. And this experience? One of my best yet.
I'll be honest - I think going into it I had this picture in my mind of what alcoholics are like, and maybe not a pretty one at that. I think that happens a lot though, for things we don't know much about. But hey, the only way we learn is by jumping in, no?
Each person stood up and said, "Hey, I'm so-and-so, and I'm an alcoholic." That part was just like the movie in my head. But the rest? The rest was so real. Everyone talked about struggling with themselves, and using some harmful solutions that didn't work out too well, and continuing to fight and struggle until they could just accept it. There it is - acceptance. That oh-so-difficult simple solution for all of us movers and shakers out here.
You know, I really do think so many of us struggle with that. And now I've seen it. Believe me - every person in the room was so different from the next, and so different from me. But we were all just at different places in the same journey - the journey to just being okay, to not feeling the need to change who we are or hurt ourselves or lash out. To just be able to live and love it. Why is that so hard? We all deserve it. And a few people sitting in the room, they'd found it. And me? Well, I'm going to keep looking for the answers. For you. For me. Because, FG, we deserve it.
