When someone says "bully," it makes you picture some dude big biceps, standing in the corner of the playground, ready to pummel the little guys for their pudding. But here in the real girl world, bullies are a little harder to identify from the outside. That's what you see in the cartoons, anyway. However, they do exist, and even without major muscle power, they can cause some serious damage.
Bullying can mean physical harm, like pushing or punching, but it can also look a little differently. Spreading rumors, kicking someone
out of the group, nasty text messages. The worst part is that it doesn't often people think it's "normal" teen behavior. In fact, the girls getting picked on usually blame themselves. They become sure that it was their fault, that maybe if they were prettier/cooler/smarter/more perfect, this wouldn't be happening to them.
Would you believe that Demi Lovato was bullied? It's true. In fact, it went all the way from teasing to a nasty "We hate Demi" campaign by kids at her school. Like a lot of girls in that sitch, she began to blame herself. "Everyone was saying it's jealously, and blah, blah," Demi said. "The worst part is, I didn't believe it because I didn't think I was worthy of someone being jealous of me. Looking back, that must have been it. But I always pinned it on myself and said there must have been something I did wrong."
This kind of girl bullying can be common, and it can take many forms. It can also be way damaging. It can make you feel worthless, and really stick with you a long time. But let me tell you a little story about a girl named Taylor. At school, she was ditched by her
crew, who went on to teasing her and her love of country music. She was absolutely miserable. But one day, miss
Taylor Swift became a star. At one of her concerts, those former friends "showed up, wearing my T-shirts and asking me to sign their CDs. It was bittersweet, because it made me realize that they didn't remember being mean to me and that I needed to forget about it, too."
When you're in the moment of it, bullying can really get under your skin and make you question yourself. It can feel like the end of your world. But it's so not. That's why I love T & D's stories, because it's absolute proof that this isn't the end. Not for you.
So let's call this the FG Anti-Bullying week. Or maybe Pro-Friend week? Because, whether you've been a victim or even a bully yourself, we can get past it.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
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