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Monday, July 6, 2009 |
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| Mean Girls Isn't Just a Movie on TV |
Hello FGs! When you're in a sitch with a bully or a whole crew of Mean Girls, it's hard to know what to do or how to react. You might think about fighting back, winning 'em over, or running for the hills. But the best thing to do? Keep a cool head, as best as you can, and follow these FG rules: - Know Your True Friends - Not everyone will be a good friend to you. That's just reality. A real friend wouldn't make fun of your looks, spread rumors about you, make plans and purposely disinvite you, or do anything to hurt you on purpose. It's better to just let them go. Even if you know of just one real BFF, it's better than having a whole crew of people who don't really have your back.
- Speak Up - If you're dealing with lotsa negativity on a daily basis, let somebody know what you're going through. You don't need to feel like a "tattle." But just finding someone outside of all the drama - an older sib, mom, a teacher - will at least give you someone to vent to, and you'll know you're not alone. They may even have some good ideas for how to deal.
- Don't Bite Back - It doesn't matter who started it. It doesn't matter if she's just pure evil behind blonde hair and a Juicy Couture tracksuit. It's so not worth damaging your own rep. Fight fire with fire, and you're gonna get hurt.
- Keep Your Chin Up - Demi had her acting, and Taylor had songwriting. Finding something you like to do as a healthy way to let out your emotions and lift your spirits will help you stay strong. Being picked can make you feel really icky, and in the moment of it, you feel like there must be something wrong with you. There's not. Don't let them bring you down. You are good enough.
- Say "I'm Sorry" - If you have been gossiping or teasing, think about if you've maybe taken it a little too far. It may be having a bigger impact on people than you think. It doesn't mean you're a horrible, terrible person. You are in control of how you treat people, and you have the ability to turn things around.
xoxo The Fab Gal Labels: advice, bullying, fab gal, friends, relationships |
posted by Fab Gal @ 9:28 AM   |
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009 |
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| Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Bully? |
I'm back, Fab Gals! When someone says "bully," it makes you picture some dude big biceps, standing in the corner of the playground, ready to pummel the little guys for their pudding. But here in the real girl world, bullies are a little harder to identify from the outside. That's what you see in the cartoons, anyway. However, they do exist, and even without major muscle power, they can cause some serious damage. Bullying can mean physical harm, like pushing or punching, but it can also look a little differently. Spreading rumors, kicking someone  out of the group, nasty text messages. The worst part is that it doesn't often people think it's "normal" teen behavior. In fact, the girls getting picked on usually blame themselves. They become sure that it was their fault, that maybe if they were prettier/cooler/smarter/more perfect, this wouldn't be happening to them. Would you believe that Demi Lovato was bullied? It's true. In fact, it went all the way from teasing to a nasty "We hate Demi" campaign by kids at her school. Like a lot of girls in that sitch, she began to blame herself. "Everyone was saying it's jealously, and blah, blah," Demi said. "The worst part is, I didn't believe it because I didn't think I was worthy of someone being jealous of me. Looking back, that must have been it. But I always pinned it on myself and said there must have been something I did wrong."
This kind of girl bullying can be common, and it can take many forms. It can also be way damaging. It can make you feel worthless, and really stick with you a long time. But let me tell you a little story about a girl named Taylor. At school, she was ditched by her  crew, who went on to teasing her and her love of country music. She was absolutely miserable. But one day, miss Taylor Swift became a star. At one of her concerts, those former friends "showed up, wearing my T-shirts and asking me to sign their CDs. It was bittersweet, because it made me realize that they didn't remember being mean to me and that I needed to forget about it, too." When you're in the moment of it, bullying can really get under your skin and make you question yourself. It can feel like the end of your world. But it's so not. That's why I love T & D's stories, because it's absolute proof that this isn't the end. Not for you.
So let's call this the FG Anti-Bullying week. Or maybe Pro-Friend week? Because, whether you've been a victim or even a bully yourself, we can get past it. xoxo
The Fab Gal
Labels: advice, bullying, fab gal, friends, girls, relationships, teens |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 12:54 PM |
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