"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
This week, I am trying out some tips from GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control, by Julia DeVillers (with help from Atoosa Rubenstein) on how to build confidence by Being Your Own Best Friend. The first step in this how-to guide was to "Date Yourself." How do you do that, right? According to the book, it means to "Do for yourself the nice things you'd do for a guy you really wanted to make fall in love with you." That includes giving yourself special treats or gifts, or going to places you think are date-worthy.
So I decided to go for it... and I very quickly found out that I am a much tougher-to-impress date than I thought. I was a little stumped as to what I could really do for myself. As much as I secretly love the idea of receiving a dozen roses, I really didn't think I could just walk into the store today and buy them for myself ("Oh, who are these for?" Uhhmm...). And making reservations at a restaurant for me, myself, and I just didn't seem right.
Public displays of affection being out, I tried to think a little less date-y and a little more simple - what things do I like to do for myself when I don't have excuses (no money, no time, not worth it) not to? So the first thing I did was make a mixed CD - like a soundtrack to my life at the moment. It's small, but I hadn't done it in a while. And I'd forgotten, but driving around listening to my fave music is something I really kinda love. After some more thought, I realized what I would love most on my date with moi is to just rent my favorite show and curl up on the couch. So I drove out to the video store (to my new CD), and on the way picked up the ingredients for my fave dessert. I came back, whipped up my treat, and finished my date off on the couch, a little better than when I started.
As it turns out, dating myself was a lot harder than expected (which maybe explains why dating other people can be so confusing!). It's easy to see how we Fab Gals might not make the effort to do things just for ourselves - we're busy, and there are always so many other people we want to impress first. But really, who is more worthy of our endless love and affection than us? So I think I'm going to try to put in more effort from now on... and definitely go for a second date.
Stay tuned for Day 2: Indulge Yourself - and more confidence tips from GirlWise.
