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Tuesday, July 26, 2011 |
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| FG Approved: The Lo-Down |
Reality stars aren't exactly known for having healthy relationships. I'm thinking of the bizarre showdown that is "The Bachelor" and pretty much any reality show involving a celebrity or housewife. But The Lo-Down, a dating guide by Lo Bosworth, proves that some stars are firmly grounded in... well, reality. The lovely chica of "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills"  fame has put together a relationship how-to manual that is well-worth the read. The Lo-Down is centered on The Golden Rule, which basically comes down to "if it doesn't work out with a guy, he is not the right guy for YOU, so ditch the misconception that you must not be right for HIM." It's a similar message to the one from the ever-popular He's Just Not That Into You (read: If he's not treating you right, don't waste your time), but softer. In fact, this book is a nice contrast, because it takes the power from the guy and gives it to you. That's what's also so fab about this book - Lo encourages you to believe in your worth and gives specific tips for building your confidence, like setting goals, volunteering, and making a Love List. While personally-focused, it's sensibly in keeping with the goal of the book, because Lo knows that when you believe in yourself, you'll be able to find and build a relationship where you're happy and treated right. Another bonus: this book is equal parts solid advice and simple fun. It includes features such as insightful quizzes (think the ones from Quizfest or Cosmo, but more meaningful) and personal stories about herself and friends to back up her points. I also absolutely adored the list of the types of guys that fall into the categories of "Baddies" and "Goodies." Sure, it's generally best to avoid putting labels on anyone, boys included. But when you're dealing with the blurry vision that comes with crushes and broken hearts, Lo's categories help you see the hard facts of the situation. It's sooo much easier to step back, look around, and say "Oh, we've got a Can't-Commit Charlie on our hands" than it is to argue with the strong emotions you may have (and the sensitivity that comes with them).
Okay, before I conclude this gush-fest over the lovely Lo-Down, let me just point out that Lo gives helpful advice for every step of the relationship road, from the initial signs that a guy is into you, to moving on from the wrong one, and everything in-between, such as fun date ideas and recipes to make with or for your beau. The Lo-Down is an especially great read for girls between relationships ready for a new approach, but it could still be an enjoyable read if you're happily in one. Consider Lo your down-to-earth girlfriend with the advice you need to hear and a sweet shoulder to lean on. xoxo
Labels: books, boys, dating, fab gal, FG Approved, Lo Bosworth, relationships, self esteem, The Lo-Down |
posted by Fab Gal @ 12:28 PM   |
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Saturday, June 26, 2010 |
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| FG Approved: The Carrie Diaries |
Hello Fab Gals! In summer, many of life's treats come into season: bright-colored flip-flops, late night adventures with friends, and anything sweet, frozen, and drippy. Oh, and books (the kind you aren't required to read for school). That's why I want to share with you my candidate for the FG-Approved perfect beach read: The Carrie Diaries, by Candace Bushnell. This novel follows Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City's heroine and one of my fave fictional FGs, through her senior year of high school. The book gives us a peek into Carrie's journey before her glamorous life, fabulous  friends, and cool career in NYC. Living in a small town called Castlebury, Carrie's life is like most of ours - full of ups and downs. Major crushes and major boy disappointments, true (and not-so-true) friends, disagreements with dad, and a few crazy adventures of the senior-year variety. Through all of that, she also has a secret dream of being a writer - but not necessarily an easy route to get there. What I loved most about this book (besides its sassy and insightful main character) is that this is a "before" story. Fans of the show and movies know Carrie's story has a happy ending. But it's cool to see that before the big closet and successful career, she was pretty... normal. Or at least, her life seemed that way. We all have big dreams, or "One day's" ("One day, I'll be a singer", "One day, I'll have a big house by the beach"). And it can be easy to focus on that. But there's something kind of glamorous about being unfinished, not quite there yet. There's something very wonderful about being on the way towards a dream - and all the characters, settings, and plot turns that get us there.
So FGs, summer is also the perfect season for working towards your happy endings... and just appreciating every piece of your story along the way.
xoxo The Fab Gal Labels: books, Candace Bushnell, fab gal, FG Approved, The Carrie Diaries |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 11:28 AM |
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010 |
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| Fab Gals, Past and Future |
Day 4: Inspire Yourself
Hey Fab Gals!
In hopes of making over my confidence (and finding some tips to share with you), I've been testing out some advice from GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control, by Julia DeVillers (with help from Atoosa Rubenstein) on how to Be Your Own Best Friend. The final step is to "Inspire Yourself." When you're feeling down on yourself, one of the first things to go is your dreams. It can feel like they're far beyond your reach, or maybe they were just kind of silly anyway. So GirlWise suggests you "Read empowering stories about amazing women, women of strength. And remember that each one of these amazing women... all started in the very same place you did."
I was definitely having one of those days, where it was only breakfast and it seemed to me like I wasn't getting anything right. I wasn't sure if reading would really help, but I decided to give it a shot. I picked up a book about cool women throughout history, featuring everyone from wild warrior Joan of Arc to funny girl Lucille Ball. As I began reading, I was truly amazed by their stories... and the effect they had on me.
Sometimes their thoughts, dreams, ideas, and challenges seemed crazy to other people - Jane Goodall saved her waitressing tips so she could move to Africa and study chimpanzees. but they still went for it. They could be extravagant, glamorous, and outrageous - like scandal-causing actress Mae West - but at the same time be ambitious, diligent, and hard workers. The two weren't mutually exclusive. They used the challenges in their own lives as a guiding force - like Madame C.J. Walker, who became the first black woman millionaire after a hair crisis inspired her to start a hair care company. Reading their stories put into focus the kind of woman I want to be, and started piecing together the inspiration I'd been missing.
I would definitely recommend this exercise. Of course, the trick comes in not just reading, but reminding yourself that you really can be counted among these amazing FGs. If it helps, I know you can do it.
So that wraps up the final day in my journey to be my own BFF (thanks to a lot of help from GirlWise). It's been tough, and definitely highlighted some problem areas in my relationship with me. But hey, relationships require work - and now I have some new tools to keep working on it.
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: advice, Atoosa Rubenstein, books, confidence, fab gal, GirlWise, Julia DeVillers, self esteem, women in history |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 2:42 PM |
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Thursday, June 3, 2010 |
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| I Am... Fabulous |
Day 3: Compliment Yourself
"It's okay to be shy to accept a compliment. But what's so wrong with standing up straight and saying, 'Yeah, I am great'?" - Mandy Moore
Hello Fab Gals!
This week, I've been testing out some tips from Julia DeVillers (and Atoosa Rubenstein) from GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control on how to Be Your Own Best Friend, in hopes of working on my own confidence and giving you FGs some ideas, too. The third part of this how-to was to "Compliment Yourself." Since most people love to get compliments, GirlWise says, "why wait until someone else makes your day? Plant yourself love letters in your room, your locker, anywhere you can."
I knew this step was important. I'm not much of a chef, but I'm starting to see confidence as a pretty simple recipe - equal parts the things you do, and the things you say to yourself. Still, as much as I give compliments to my (other!) BFFs, it had been a while since I had complimented myself. So, I sat down with a poster board, sticky notes, a pen, and twenty minutes, and wrote down any compliments that came to mind.
Despite being out of practice, it was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. I thought about inside qualities (being caring and passionate) and outside ones (love my hair!), ones that really matter to me (being a good writer and great BFF) and ones that I don't give enough credit (It used to embarass me that I was so good at math. But hello? That's a good thing, even if I only use it for managing my money so I can shop). It doesn't really matter what you compliment yourself on, just as long as you get started - and mean it! I thought I might feel silly or embarassed by trying to compliment myself, or worse, I wouldn't be able to come up with anything. But looking back at my poster throughout the day felt good... and even better when I thought that I might be able to come back and add to it later.
If you need a confidence boost, this is definitely a good place to start. I think I'm going to work at doing this more often. I think that we are scared to compliment yourselves because we don't think what we are already is enough, or that if we tell ourselves nice things we won't be motivated to work toward our goals. But looking at my compliments poster, I actually felt excited about the challenges in my life - like I know I have what it takes to tackle them.
Stay tuned for Day 4: Inspire Yourself, and more confidence tips from GirlWise.
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: advice, Atoosa Rubenstein, books, compliments, confidence, fab gal, GirlWise, Julia DeVillers, self esteem |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 10:55 AM |
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Monday, May 31, 2010 |
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| (Not So) Solo Summer Day |
Day 2: Indulge Yourself
Hello Fab Gals!
This week, I am continuing to test out tips from GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control by Julia DeVillers, with help by Atoosa Rubenstein, on how to Be Your Own Best Friend and build confidence. The second step in this how-to is to "Indulge Yourself." According to GirlWise, this means to "Take at least one night every week and do something that's totally all about you." Okay, I can totally do this one. I started working on the perfect plan for an all-about-me day. I didn't feel like I could give up an evening without friends, family, and work calling my name.
I knew exactly what I wanted to do on my solo summer day. I was going to spend my morning catching up on magazines and sun by the pool, and in the afternoon, I was going to hit the shoe department at the mall - a place I'd seriously been missing. It sounded absolutely indulgent and totally fabulous... until the day actually came.
Despite having an action plan in place, take-off proved to be difficult. I knew indulging myself was a perfectly fine way to spend a day, but for some reason I couldn't do it. I kept procrastinating, finding other random tasks to do instead. I began to wonder, Am I really such a difficult person to hang out with? I had no idea. Is it really so bad to spend time with me? Other people seem to be able to handle it. But before long, my thoughts were interrupted by another Fab Gal, one who needed time with a friend as much as I did.
So my solo summer day didn't happen like I imagined. At first I felt like I really failed at being my own best friend. But I've decided I can't give myself a hard time about it. That's the thing about best friends - we forgive them, despite any minor imperfections. Because they are worth more to us than that. And besides, sometimes being a best friend to someone who needs us brings out our best, and gives us something to be confident about. And hey, it's gotta be good practice for when we need to be our own BFFs. That relationship just might take a little more work.
Come back for Day 3: Compliment Yourself, and more confidence tips from GirlWise.
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: advice, Atoosa Rubenstein, books, confidence, fab gal, friends, GirlWise, Julia DeVillers, self esteem |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 9:05 AM |
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Thursday, May 27, 2010 |
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| Roses... Would That Be Too Much? |
Day 1: Date Yourself
Hey FGs!
This week, I am trying out some tips from GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control, by Julia DeVillers (with help from Atoosa Rubenstein) on how to build confidence by Being Your Own Best Friend. The first step in this how-to guide was to "Date Yourself." How do you do that, right? According to the book, it means to "Do for yourself the nice things you'd do for a guy you really wanted to make fall in love with you." That includes giving yourself special treats or gifts, or going to places you think are date-worthy.
So I decided to go for it... and I very quickly found out that I am a much tougher-to-impress date than I thought. I was a little stumped as to what I could really do for myself. As much as I secretly love the idea of receiving a dozen roses, I really didn't think I could just walk into the store today and buy them for myself ("Oh, who are these for?" Uhhmm...). And making reservations at a restaurant for me, myself, and I just didn't seem right.
Public displays of affection being out, I tried to think a little less date-y and a little more simple - what things do I like to do for myself when I don't have excuses (no money, no time, not worth it) not to? So the first thing I did was make a mixed CD - like a soundtrack to my life at the moment. It's small, but I hadn't done it in a while. And I'd forgotten, but driving around listening to my fave music is something I really kinda love. After some more thought, I realized what I would love most on my date with moi is to just rent my favorite show and curl up on the couch. So I drove out to the video store (to my new CD), and on the way picked up the ingredients for my fave dessert. I came back, whipped up my treat, and finished my date off on the couch, a little better than when I started.
As it turns out, dating myself was a lot harder than expected (which maybe explains why dating other people can be so confusing!). It's easy to see how we Fab Gals might not make the effort to do things just for ourselves - we're busy, and there are always so many other people we want to impress first. But really, who is more worthy of our endless love and affection than us? So I think I'm going to try to put in more effort from now on... and definitely go for a second date.
Stay tuned for Day 2: Indulge Yourself - and more confidence tips from GirlWise.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
Z5QMSEWQXED6Labels: advice, Atoosa Rubenstein, books, confidence, fab gal, GirlWise, Julia DeVillers, self esteem |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 5:05 PM |
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Sunday, May 23, 2010 |
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| FG Puts it to the Test: How to Be Your Own Best Friend |
Hello FGs! 
Recently, I picked up a new book. It's called GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and In Control, by Julia DeVillers. It's got how-tos for all the stuff you wish you knew, but of course don't learn in school - How to look great in a photo, journal, get along with your mother... even unclog a toilet (which may not sound that important, but knowing that would save a few thousand girls from ending up on Seventeen's "Embarrassing Moments" page).
Anyways, the chapter that interested me most was "Be Confident." Confidence doesn't come easy, but once you've got it, it makes doing pretty much everything easier (and more fun). And I'm willing to take all the tips I can get. So I've decided to put it to the test.
One of the how-tos in this chapter was How to Be Your Own Best Friend, with advice by Atoosa Rubenstein (former editor-in-chief of Seventeen and CosmoGIRL!). Her idea is that we are awesome to our BFFs - we remind her how beautiful she is, encourage her in chasing her dreams, and make time for her whenever she needs it. But we don't always do those things for ourselves, especially when we're not feeling so hot. So if we treat ourselves more like a best friend, maybe we can be more confident.
So this week, I'm going to give it a shot - be my own best friend. I'll put the tips to the test, and let you know how it goes. Keep checking back, FG.
xoxo
The Fab Gal Labels: advice, Atoosa Rubenstein, books, confidence, fab gal, GirlWise, Julia DeVillers, self esteem |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 12:25 PM |
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Sunday, April 4, 2010 |
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| FG Approved: L.A. Candy |
Hey FGs!
So much Fab, so little time. I thought I'd share one of my latest Fab finds with you - L.A. Candy, the new novel by Lauren Conrad. Now, some of my friends teased me when I first picked this book up. How could a reality star write a read-worthy novel? But of course, I believe in giving everything a shot once, so I wasn't ashamed to keep the pages turning.
And you know what? So worth it. First of, it is the perf juicy pre-summer read - behind the scenes and in the real lives of four 19 year-old girls who get cast in a realit  y show about their lives in L.A. It's fun to get an idea of what it's really like on the other side of the screen.
But even more than that, I think there was a little more heart to the story than one would expect. See, for me, I totally related to Jane Roberts, the quiet, sweet, and often self-conscious chica of the "L.A. Candy" crew. Her best friend Scarlett is awesome - beautiful and smart, with the perf amount of attitude - but sometimes Jane feels like she's in her shadow. Until the unexpected happens, and a spot on the reality show gives her a place to shine.
So I'm not saying that being on a reality show is my dream (well, not my only dream anyway). But I thought this book showed that every girl has a fitting place somewhere. We're all different, so we all get to stand out in our own way, whether we're loud, sassy, soft-spoken, cautious... or a little bit of all of the above.
So what do you think, Fab Gal? Have you checked out L.A. Candy? What books are totally Fab to you, and who are your fave characters? Leave a comment to let me know.
xoxo
The Fab Gal Labels: books, fab gal, FG Approved, L.A. Candy, Lauren Conrad |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 9:52 PM |
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Friday, November 14, 2008 |
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| Letter to My Fab Gals |
Hello FGs!
So I have to tell you about a book I'm reading lately. It's called Letter to My Daughter, and it's by Maya Angelou. First off, I just think she is an amazing woman. Whenever you hear her speak, it's just so comforting and inspiring. If I'm lucky enough to get to be a grown-up someday, I'd like to be a little bit like Maya.
Anyways, so the idea behind this book is that we are all her daughters, no matter who we are or what we look like. And this book is everything she would like to tell her daughter - stories, lessons, good times, bad times. Like she says, "My life has been long, and believing that life loves the liver of it, I have dared to try many things, sometimes trembling, but daring, still. I have only included here events and lessons which I have found useful." And let me tell you, from reading just a few chapters, I can say that Maya has experienced much and learned more. But the beautiful part is her willingness to share.
One of my favorite quotes (by Florence Nightingale) is "If your experiences would benefit anybody, give them to someone." And that's part of my inspiration here. When you commit to living life fully, you learn a lot of lessons, sometimes the hard way. It's good to learn your lessons and make them a part of you, but they mean twice as much when you share them with someone else. So often we think we are all alone in our experiences, but in teaching and sharing you'll find that we're all more closely connected than you think. And your FGs might just have a thing or two to teach you as well...
xoxo
The Fab Gal
Do you have something to share with your FGs? Let me know here by comment, by e-mail at fabgalsite@gmail.com, or at The Fab Gal Myspace.Labels: books, fab gal, Letter to My Daughter, life lessons, Maya Angelou, sharing |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 9:01 AM |
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Saturday, August 2, 2008 |
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| Fab Gal Top 10: Books |
Hey Fab Gals!
I know, I know. School is coming soon enough, and the last thing you want to do is read. But these books, are definitely worth it! Some are about body image or self-esteem, and some are just fun.
1. Do I Look Fat in This?, by Jessica Weiner
The inevitable question - and why we shouldn't be asking it. It makes you realize that the way you talk about your body is really just a reflection of how you feel.
2. Over It: A Teen's Guide to Getting Beyond Obsessions with Food and Weight, by Carol Emery Normandi and Lauralee Roark
If you've ever had any issues with body image or eating, this is a great place to start. It provides an insightful look into dealing with disorderly eating.
3. In Their Shoes: Extraordinary Women Describe Their Amazing Careers, by Deborah Reber
I love this one! It seriously has every career a girl could imagine, and has interviews and tips from successful women in every field.
4. No Body's Perfect, by Kimberly Kirberger
If you like the Chicken Soup books, you'll love this. It's full of stories from teen girls on how they have learned to love themselves and their bodies.
5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, by Ann Brashares
You've probably seen the movie, but you must read the book. I just love how these girls are all so different, but in the end this perfect pair of jeans keeps them together.
6. This I Believe, edited by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman
This book is the coolest! It's a collection of essays by men and women, some famous, some not, about what their personal beliefs are. It makes you think about where you stand.
7. Teen Idol, by Meg Cabot
From the author of The Princess Diaries, this one is about a Jenny, the school's advice columnist who has to help an undercover movie star keep his secret!
8. Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks, by Erika V. Shearin Karres
This book is your how-to guide for dealing with the girl drama you face everyday. Pretty much the title says it all.
9. My Feet Aren't Ugly, by Debra Beck
I'm pretty sure I've told you about this book a hundred times, but it's because I love it! It's an awesome guide to self-esteem, complete with journal sections.
10. Marley and Me, by John Grogan
So this book doesn't really match the rest. But this book is too sweet, and I think we can learn a lot from our pets. (Plus, you'll want to read it before the movie version comes out!)
There you go, Fab Gals! That's my top ten book list. What's on yours? C'mon, you've got to have a few...
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: books, fab gal, top 10 |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 8:41 AM |
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