"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
I have a problem. Actually, it's not me - it's my friends. They complain all the time about how fat they are. The thing is, they're so not! Not at all. And they barely eat anything but salads at lunch and only pick at the snacks now when we have sleepovers. I want to help them see that they're not fat but I don't know how. What should I do?
Hey chica,
It sounds like your friends aren't feeling confident about their bodies right now. I imagine it can be sad or frustrating to see them struggle and feel like you don't know what to do. But first things first: remember that your buds are lucky to have a Fab friend like you looking out for them.
One way you can help is through leading by example. Eat balanced meals and snacks, be confident in yourself, and don't make negative comments about your body. Not only might it inspire them to make positive changes, but it will help you stay strong.
If the body-bashing comes up at lunch, don't join in. It can be tempting to say something like, "No way, you are sooo not fat!" It's fine if you do that, but sometimes that approach just drags the convo on. Instead, wait it out, and then bring up something else you guys like to talk about, whether it's movies, sports, or crushes. Lunchtime is short - spend it having fun, not talking "fat"!
The best time to bring up this weight-y issue is at a sleepover, when you guys can have a heart-to-heart about it. Whatever you say, make it about you. For example, you could say, "I get sad when I hear you guys talking about how fat you think you are. I love you all so much and I think you're beautiful. I hate to see you feel bad about yourselves." What's great about his way of bringing it up is it allows you to say how you feel and gives them the chance to speak up about an issue that's probably been bothering them for a while. Best of all, it gives you all the chance to be open and supportive with each other - exactly what friends are for.
Good luck! If you need more help, I'm always hear for you.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
Got a sitch you'd like help with? Send me your Q by e-mail at fabgalsite@gmail.com or post it in the comments (you can keep it anonymous). I'd love to help!
Last night, as I was driving home and singing as loud as possible to Taylor Swift, I decided something: music is an amazing friend. It always knows just what to say. When I need a pick-me-up, I have dozens of songs on my iPod that do the trick. And when I just want to reminisce or cry... Well, there are songs for that, too.
That's why this week is all about music. And, since TheFabGal.com is getting a makeover, I thought we should pick out a song, or FG Anthem, to go with it. Check out the possibilities below and let me know what you think!
"Firework" by Katy Perry
While most (okay, all) of us don't shoot fireworks out of our bodies, we all have something within us that makes us shine if we open up.
"With You" by Jessica Simpson
This one has been around a while - almost ten years if you can believe it! What I love is not only the sweet lyrics, but that Jessica is not afraid to make fun of herself (That "plata-ma-pus" shirt? I want one!).
"Moment 4 Life" by Nicki Minaj & Drake
Writing and hanging out with my friends makes me "feel so alive." Rapping and playing Cinderella with Drake does it for Nicki. What does it for you?
"Hit The Lights" by Selena Gomez & The Scene
I love this video because it reminds me of my friends and I, having adventures by day and dancing crazy by night. Also, it makes me want to go out and face the fears that hold me back.
Those are some of my picks. But what do you think should be the FG Anthem? Do you like one of these, or is there another one I missed? Share your votes or suggestions in the comments below, and I'll feature our pick on the new site!
xoxo
The Fab Gal
P.S. Don't forget that you can chat with me on Twitter or by e-mail at fabgalsite@gmail.com.
Oh, V-Day. It’s funny how a day all about sugar can inspire so much bitterness. I’ve heard people joke that they only recognize “Singles’ Awareness Day” or “Sad and Alone Day.” Of course they’re just kidding – but then you don’t hear anyone teasing Thanksgiving! There are also people who seem to really hate the holiday. They say it’s too commercialized, puts too much pressure on people in relationships, or that we should celebrate love every day, not 1 in 365.
I’ve never been one of those people. I couldn’t possibly hate a day reserved for all of my favorite things: glitter, pink, roses, chocolate, and heart-shaped anything. And I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with making a day to celebrate love – in all its forms – a little louder than usual.
At least that’s how I usually feel. But this year… truthfully, I’ve been feeling like Sad-and-Alone, party of one.
I can remember being a little girl in Barbie PJs, dreaming about the day Prince Charming would come (I pictured him as B, the 5-year-old Romeo in my kindergarten class). Then, a few years later, I couldn’t wait to be old enough to have a BF and go to prom (as close as it gets to Cinderella dreams, right?).
That was all cute enough. But now… the feeling doesn't seem so adorable. I hate to even admit it, because it always seems like strong, confident girls aren’t supposed to care if they’re single. But I do.
Anyways, I imagined I could spend V-Day night curled up in bed, drowning my singleness in truffles, tears, and chick flicks. But the reality is, solo or no, I’m really, really lucky. I have so many Fab Guys in my life – my dad, my brother, my BGFs – who care for me, whom I have fun with, and most importantly, who let me be me. Ultimately, those are the qualities I want in a boyfriend. Someday. For now… I’ll just enjoy my time as one of the guys.
But that’s just my story. Wherever V-Day brings you, my chocolate-covered wish is that every day you get to do what you love, be who you love… and celebrate with the ones you love.
I have been icky-sicky this week, but one thing that has been keeping me going is my excitement over the new changes underway for TheFabGal.com.
The site is getting a total makeover. In addition to a new look, the site will have a totally new format - more like a website or webzine. The blog you love will still be there, but there will be more sections - like for FG-approved books, videos, and more, and profiles of famous FGs. TheFabGal.com will have new content too, including an "Ask FG" section where you can submit your questions for advice.
As you can see, I am sooo excited! But really, this site is all for Y-O-U. So what I want to know is, what would you like to see on the site? Anything new, or anything from the blog you'd like to see more (or less) often? What keeps you going back to the websites you love.
Leave a comment to let me know, because I am all about making TheFabGal.com the best place I can for you and me.
