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Monday, October 19, 2009 |
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| You've Got What I Want |
There she is. That Girl. She's drop-dead gorgeous, and she has a wardrobe you'd be equally willing to die for. Or maybe it's not so much a physical thing. Maybe she's got a way of working a crowd, or straight-A's you just can't quite ever spell out. But you're pretty sure she's got Everything (or at least, Everything You Want). Yep. You think you would almost hate her for it. Except that you never could. She's your best friend.
Whenever we talk about envy, and wanting something that someone else has, we always imagine that people will aspire to what a supermodel or somebody on TV has. And maybe sometimes, in our wildest dreams, we do. But a lot of times, the things we truly want are more real. So what happens if we become maybe a little envious of our sister, our cousin, or our BFF?
If we were talking about a celebrity or even a girl at school we don't know, it's easy to just shake it off and imagine that maybe she hasn't really earned all the good things she's got, that it's just not fair. But when it's a person you love, it just feels horrible. You know they should have great things. Why can't you just be happy for them? What's wrong with you, anyway?
The one thing I've figured is this: it just doesn't help. Being envious, wanting what someone else has, doesn't not make you a bad person. Not at all. But it will never make you feel very good, or even help get you where you want to be (because believe it or not, feeling bad doesn't make us work any harder). Most of all, it will make it harder for you to feel good for that person and enjoy them like you deserve. Because both of you deserve that. 
So try, try, try to remember that when you are in the envy zone. Because really, there are no comparisons. We're all different, and we all have different things at different times. But we really are all Fab Gals. I really believe that. You've just got to remember that you'll get where you want to be. You'll just have to do it your own way.
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: advice, envy, fab gal, friendships, girls, relationships, self esteem, teens |
posted by Fab Gal @ 10:26 PM   |
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Monday, July 27, 2009 |
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| I'm Wanna Be Pop-u-lar |
Hey FGs!
I just finished a fabulous book, How to Be Popular, by Meg Cabot (my fave author!). Basically, it was about a girl named Steph, who had always been on the outside (along with her BFFs). Then she finds a book on, you guessed it, how to be popular. Suddenly, she's got an in with the A-crowd. She has everything she ever wanted... until she realizes that maybe it's not what she wanted at all.
Is it so bad to want to be popular? It's not bad to want people to like us, right? I do know for sure there was a time when I would have done anything for a book like the one Steph finds. You know, if it would really work out like that. It's not like I didn't like the friends I had. I just thought my life would be that much better if I was the girl that everyone loved, that everyone wanted to be friends with.
Popularity is a tricky thing. Sometimes it seems like, "Oh, if I just had the right outfit/got invited to the right party/say the right thing, then I will be popular." Maybe it's like that. Or maybe it's just luck. But whatever way you get it, it can go away just as fast. And sometimes, the thing you think will make you happy, was not what you imagined at all. What is really worthwhile is finding those friends that actually will be there for you, no matter what. Whether they are popular or not, it doesn't really matter. But finding people you love to be with, that's what's really gonna make you smile.
A new school year is coming quick. And maybe this year can be your year. No, not your year to be the most popular chica in school. But the year to try new things, make real friends, and figure out you. I can't guarantee everyone will love you, but if you can stop worrying about everyone else, you will definitely love you. For sure.
xoxo
The Fab GalLabels: advice, fab gal, friendships, popularity, relationships, teens |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 5:14 PM |
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009 |
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| One and the Same |
Hey Fab Gals!
Summer time can equal mega free time, maybe hanging out with friends and laying by the pool, chilling at the mall, or having slumber parties and movie marathons. Still, other things, like stayaway camp, looong family vacays, or even moves to new cities can mean lots time away from your BFF during the sunny days. So what's a girl to do? Lemme give you a few FG ideas:
- Pencil it in. If you're both gonna be uber-busy, plan ahead a little chunk of time each week where you can catch up with a phone call or IM sesh each week. It will keep you both in each other's scheds, so you won't have to worry about forgetting (or being forgotten).
- Plan some hang time. Is there a summer movie you've both wanted to see, or a TV show you both dig? Well if you plan on watching it at the same time, you can call/text each other up during the commercials. Sure, not the same as being together, but it'll be fun to know you've made some time to "hang out," even though you can't really be together. The perf BFF flick this summer? Princess Protection Program Disney, starring real-life BFFs Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. Check it out on Friday, June 26th!
- Snail-mail it. Sure, maybe texting, Facebook, and Myspace mean insta-connection. But you can do that with anyone. See if you can get your BF
 Fs address (at home, camp, or wherever she'll be) and send her some letters postcards, or even fun mix CDs through the mail. Believe me, she'll absolutely love it, and it is so worth the wait! - Have a reunion party. Likely, you're gonna have lots to catch up on when you're back together. So plan ahead a sleepover for the weekend when you get back together. It will give you time to stay up late and chat, and you can look forward to it all summer!
Most of all, don't stress too much about having a lot of time apart. Chances are, it will help you both learn some new things about yourself, as well as remind you how special your friendship really is. So how are your and your BFF spending this summer? What do you do when you're together? How do you stay in touch when you're apart? Leave a comment to let me know (see the instructions on the side if you don't know how!). xoxo The Fab Gal Labels: advice, BFFs, fab gal, friendships, staying in touch, summer |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 11:00 AM |
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008 |
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| Make New Friends, But Keep the Old... |
Hello Fab Gals!
Lately, I've had some convos with FGs about friendships - and what happens when they start to change. Some seem to last forever, but moves, different schools, and new boyfriends can sometimes put a strain on even the best of them. What's a girl to do? Here are some FG tips to make the transitions a little easier.
- Keep Contact - If distance is what separates you, find time to catch up with texts (between class, of course), IM, or phone calls. Figure out a time that works for both of you to chat and swap stories. You might find that the distance gives you even more to talk about.
- Get into Routine - If you two are both busy chicas, look for opportunities for BFF multi-tasking. Lunch, after-school study sessions, or Friday manicures are great ways to make time for each other without skipping a beat.
- Be Honest - If you feel like your friend is leaving you in the cold for her new guy, it's okay to be honest about how you feel. No need to get nasty - just call her up and say, "Hey, I feel like I haven't gotten to see you in a while. I miss you!" That might be all you need to bring her back to your zone.
- Mix it Up - If you and your friend end up at different schools with different circles of friends, find ways to share. Invite her to a pizza party with your buds, or join her for her school's basketball game. Look at it like this - you both get to meet new people and stick together at the same time. It's the best of both worlds.
- Let it Be - If you feel like there's a growing space between you and your friend, or she hasn't been around for you, it's good to try to settle things out. But if none of the above solutions help, it might be best for you to just give it a (peaceful) break. If you try to push it, things could start to get messy. It hurts to feel like you're losing a friend, but letting it go will give you an opportunity to spend time with FGs who will truly have your back in the long run.
xoxo The Fab Gal Labels: fab gal, friendships, girls, problem solving, relationships, teens |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 7:46 AM |
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008 |
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| I'm Right There With Ya |
Hey Fab Gals!
I hope you had a nice long holiday weekend to relax, eat, shop, or hang out. If not, I hope the holidays bring you a break really soon! For me, this time of year equals not only lots of food, but lots of family time. I have to say, spending time with some of my related FGs this weekend reminded me of one of the most beautiful parts of having loved ones - sharing experiences. 
There is something about togetherness that makes every piece of life more meaningful. It makes the good times more joyful - early morning shopping, girls' nights, random adventures. But at the same time, having someone to share with makes the bad times a little better. It's funny how it works out that way. So often, we want to withdraw when life gets tough. We don't want to spread the negativity to someone else. While that's a kind gesture, it surely doesn't make us feel any better. It just feels lonely.
What I'm saying is that every experience is worth sharing with someone you trust. You might be surprised how good it feels to be open. And believe it or not you both might find that your experiences aren't so different after all. Lessons learned seem to transcend age, distance, and all other boundaries we think exist. Life is a journey, a rollercoaster, a highway, or whatever the songs all seem to say. But it sure is a lot more fun when you've got someone in the passenger seat.
xoxo
The Fab Gal Labels: fab gal, friendships, life lessons, relationships, sharing |
| posted by Fab Gal @ 8:44 AM |
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