"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
Whether you're a single lady or happily Facebook-official with someone, it's good to know in your mind what real, true love looks - or sounds! - like to you. I think I found something that does that for me. One of my BFLs (that's Bestie for Life) shared a video with me by the poet Rudy Francisco. He has a few super-sweet poems, but this one, called "The First Time You Said Hello," absolutely melts my heart.
As V-Day approaches, remember to look for (and create!) the kind of relationship you deserve. What I wish for you is that you find someone who adores you for you and wants to be part of your life through the good and the bad... because I know you would do that much and more for them.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What's something that epitomizes your idea of love? A song, a movie, a picture, a real couple you know? Share in the comments below!
Reality stars aren't exactly known for having healthy relationships. I'm thinking of the bizarre showdown that is "The Bachelor" and pretty much any reality show involving a celebrity or housewife. But The Lo-Down, a dating guide by Lo Bosworth, proves that some stars are firmly grounded in... well, reality. The lovely chica of "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills" fame has put together a relationship how-to manual that is well-worth the read.
The Lo-Down is centered on The Golden Rule, which basically comes down to "if it doesn't work out with a guy, he is not the right guy for YOU, so ditch the misconception that you must not be right for HIM." It's a similar message to the one from the ever-popular He's Just Not That Into You (read: If he's not treating you right, don't waste your time), but softer. In fact, this book is a nice contrast, because it takes the power from the guy and gives it to you. That's what's also so fab about this book - Lo encourages you to believe in your worth and gives specific tips for building your confidence, like setting goals, volunteering, and making a Love List. While personally-focused, it's sensibly in keeping with the goal of the book, because Lo knows that when you believe in yourself, you'll be able to find and build a relationship where you're happy and treated right.
Another bonus: this book is equal parts solid advice and simple fun. It includes features such as insightful quizzes (think the ones from Quizfest or Cosmo, but more meaningful) and personal stories about herself and friends to back up her points. I also absolutely adored the list of the types of guys that fall into the categories of "Baddies" and "Goodies." Sure, it's generally best to avoid putting labels on anyone, boys included. But when you're dealing with the blurry vision that comes with crushes and broken hearts, Lo's categories help you see the hard facts of the situation. It's sooo much easier to step back, look around, and say "Oh, we've got a Can't-Commit Charlie on our hands" than it is to argue with the strong emotions you may have (and the sensitivity that comes with them).
Okay, before I conclude this gush-fest over the lovely Lo-Down, let me just point out that Lo gives helpful advice for every step of the relationship road, from the initial signs that a guy is into you, to moving on from the wrong one, and everything in-between, such as fun date ideas and recipes to make with or for your beau. The Lo-Down is an especially great read for girls between relationships ready for a new approach, but it could still be an enjoyable read if you're happily in one. Consider Lo your down-to-earth girlfriend with the advice you need to hear and a sweet shoulder to lean on.
xoxo
P.S.The Lo-Down website is currently in makeover mode, but you can pick up a copy of the book here.
I wanted to share with you a completely fabulous way to get involved. It's called Girl Up, and it's a "for girls, by girls" campaign started by the United Nations (so yeah, it's totally legit). They work to help girls in developing countries like Guatemala, Liberia, Ethiopia, and Malawi. Their mission includes getting the girls education and health services, so they can not only lead happy and healthy lives now, but be the leaders and FGs of their countries in the future. There are so many ways to give, from $5, your facebook status, or your time. I encourage you to check it out, because sometimes nothing feels better than helping someone else.
In summer, many of life's treats come into season: bright-colored flip-flops, late night adventures with friends, and anything sweet, frozen, and drippy. Oh, and books (the kind you aren't required to read for school). That's why I want to share with you my candidate for the FG-Approved perfect beach read: The Carrie Diaries, by Candace Bushnell.
This novel follows Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City's heroine and one of my fave fictional FGs, through her senior year of high school. The book gives us a peek into Carrie's journey before her glamorous life, fabulous friends, and cool career in NYC. Living in a small town called Castlebury, Carrie's life is like most of ours - full of ups and downs. Major crushes and major boy disappointments, true (and not-so-true) friends, disagreements with dad, and a few crazy adventures of the senior-year variety. Through all of that, she also has a secret dream of being a writer - but not necessarily an easy route to get there.
What I loved most about this book (besides its sassy and insightful main character) is that this is a "before" story. Fans of the show and movies know Carrie's story has a happy ending. But it's cool to see that before the big closet and successful career, she was pretty... normal. Or at least, her life seemed that way. We all have big dreams, or "One day's" ("One day, I'll be a singer", "One day, I'll have a big house by the beach"). And it can be easy to focus on that. But there's something kind of glamorous about being unfinished, not quite there yet. There's something very wonderful about being on the way towards a dream - and all the characters, settings, and plot turns that get us there.
So FGs, summer is also the perfect season for working towards your happy endings... and just appreciating every piece of your story along the way.
Lotsa people love reading advice articles in magazines and online. And why not? The truth is, so many of us have similar questions... but someone has to be brave enough to ask! Of course, it can be hard to know where to turn for advice that's actually helpful. These sites have been FG-tested for awesome girl advice:
Girls' Life: Advice (This magazine's website has advice on practically everything! But I especially love Bill and Dave's guy perspective on dating dilemmas.)
Beinggirl (Tons of info on periods, and any other body question you can think of!)
Ask Jess (Self-esteem expert Jess Weiner gives thoughtful advice on body image and self-esteem issues.)
xoxo The Fab Gal
Where do you turn for advice? Got any suggestions for Fab advice sources? Leave a comment to let me know.
So much Fab, so little time. I thought I'd share one of my latest Fab finds with you - L.A. Candy, the new novel by Lauren Conrad. Now, some of my friends teased me when I first picked this book up. How could a reality star write a read-worthy novel? But of course, I believe in giving everything a shot once, so I wasn't ashamed to keep the pages turning.
And you know what? So worth it. First of, it is the perf juicy pre-summer read - behind the scenes and in the real lives of four 19 year-old girls who get cast in a reality show about their lives in L.A. It's fun to get an idea of what it's really like on the other side of the screen.
But even more than that, I think there was a little more heart to the story than one would expect. See, for me, I totally related to Jane Roberts, the quiet, sweet, and often self-conscious chica of the "L.A. Candy" crew. Her best friend Scarlett is awesome - beautiful and smart, with the perf amount of attitude - but sometimes Jane feels like she's in her shadow. Until the unexpected happens, and a spot on the reality show gives her a place to shine.
So I'm not saying that being on a reality show is my dream (well, not my only dream anyway). But I thought this book showed that every girl has a fitting place somewhere. We're all different, so we all get to stand out in our own way, whether we're loud, sassy, soft-spoken, cautious... or a little bit of all of the above.
So what do you think, Fab Gal? Have you checked out L.A. Candy? What books are totally Fab to you, and who are your fave characters? Leave a comment to let me know.
