"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
Just wanted to give you an update on something very Fab going on in the news world today. On the Today morning news show, hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb decided to host a "No Make-Up Zone." The two ladies hosted the entire show au naturel - no make-up whatsoever! It was awesome to see two Fab women stand up for real beauty and bare their "flaws" on national television (they looked beautiful just as they are, of course). If you missed it, check out this vid:
What do you think of the "No Make-Up Zone"? Would you like to see more celebs go make-up free? Do you need make-up to feel comfortable? Leave a comment to share your thoughts!
I have always loved magazines. And I have always thought that being on the cover of one would be a dream. I can just picture it... Going to a super-exclusive studio, having a whole wardrobe of clothes picked out just for you, snapping lots of glamorous pics, and then heading to a fancy restaurant to do an interview for your cover story. That would have to be so fab, right? Being a cover girl, you would know you've really made it. But then I read this quote by Miley Cyrus:
"I told my mom, 'I'm not buying another magazine until I can get past this thought of looking like the girl on the cover.' She said, 'Miley, you are the girl on the cover,' and I was, like, I know, but I don't feel like that girl every day.' You can't always feel perfect."
That's so crazy to think about. I guess I always thought girls who had it all - you know, being a mega-successful TV actress/movie star/singer - would know it, too. You'd think that being the superstar on the cover would make you feel super-confident. And Miley's not the only one. Pink, the tough-as-nails pop star, told a magazine she's okay with the fact that she's not a "cover girl" - when she was on the cover herself!
I'm not telling you this to make you feel less confident. Oh, if the real cover girls don't feel beautiful, how can I ever feel that way myself? The opposite is true. In fact, you could be struggling with cover girl blindness yourself, like Miley or Pink - not seeing yourself as beautiful/smart/talented/amazing as you are, even when signs say it's true. When you're feeling down, facing a challenge, or having an off day, it's easy to believe that any negative thoughts or self-doubts you have are true, that you really aren't good enough. That's when you have to remember that your thoughts don't always represent the beautiful truth - that you are Fab just how you are. Cover girls don't always feel like cover girls. And sometimes, Fab Gals don't feel like Fab Gals.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
As, always, I can be reached by comment below or by e-mail at fabgalsite@gmail.com.
It's just about died down now, but there was a whole lot of buzz - both on YouTube and the news - about Britain's Got Talent "shocker" Susan Boyle People were not only surprised because the girl has a voice - it seemed everyone was amazed that someone who looks like she does, whatever that means, can actually sing well.
It's not like she doesn't deserve the praise. She does. I mean, that girl can sing! But it just seems to me that she hasn't been given it the way she deserves. It's almost like a back-handed compliment. Like, "Wow, we saw you and thought you would be terrible. But you're not. Good for you!" Um, ouch? It kind of puts us in a difficult position - it seems nice, but it's almost perpetuating the stereotype that pop stars have to look a certain way, or even that people with talent must fit one definition of beauty. Actually, in ways it's like what happened with Jessica Simpson. What on earth does her body size have to do with her voice?
Of course, it's impossible to take looks or our bodies completely out of the equation. But I think it's better to look at people - and yourself - as a whole package. Yes, our bodies are important. But that's only one piece of it. They can change. Whether Susan was having a good hair day or a bad one - that doesn't need to be the focus. She's a whole person. We need to appreciate all parts of someone.
Have you seen the videos from the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty? Well, you should! I especially love this one, so I wanted to share it with you. It's called "Evolution."
Isn't that crazy? I don't know, I guess I just had no idea that models don't even look like the girls we see in magazines - it's not even real. It makes you rethink the way you see those images - and they way you see beauty. . If you want to check out some more of the Dove films, click over to their website. "Onslaught" and "Amy" are really good too!
Models are, like, really skinny. Duh. We all know that. But let me put it in numbers for you: The average model is about 5'11" and 117 pounds. The average woman is 5'4" and 140 pounds (which is not fat). How does that make the average woman feel? Now this is even more crazy - if Barbie were a person, she wouldn't be able to stand up, or even survive. Her body wouldn't have room for her whole liver. I don't know my biology, but I'm pretty darn sure you need a liver.
You know, I always kind of questioned how much the media really affects us. I mean, we all know models are too skinny. We know that's not real. But then there's this survey that Dove did, and only 2% of women would call themselves "beautiful." Woah. And thinking of all the women I know, these women are so wrong - at least 99.999% of them are.
It's just a really sad place to be - sure, looks aren't the only thing, I know. But that's 98% of the women out there waking up every day thinking they're not beautiful women, when they so totally are. And if you let yourself think you're not beautiful, what else will you let yourself believe?
It just makes me want to go scream to all those women, "Please, you are so beautiful! Don't hold waste it - enjoy it!" There's so many wonderful things you deserve, and so many great things you should experience. Since I can't tell them all, I will tell you, FG: Don't hold yourself back. No You're not Barbie. You're better. You're a real beauty. That's too much to waste.
I have been so fascinated lately by all the talk going on about Jessica Simpson, and the recent photographs that everyone seems to have a comment on. Her outfit has been bashed, and her body picked apart and labeled - everything from "curvy" to "fat."
Normally, I would say it's just best to stay away from this kind of media and the nasty body talk. It just perpetuates our ideas about beauty, weight, and what's considered acceptable to say about other people. But I'll admit - I've been obsessed, clicking on every Jessica link I've seen (believe me, there are quite a few!). It's just so strange. We always say that we are so over the skinny thing, and everyone tears apart the stick-thin celebs. But if someone does look normal, whether or not she has gained weight, everyone feels they have the right to call her a pig. No wonder we are all so confused about beauty.
But as I was on my celebrity gossip frenzy, I found on article on Us Magazine's website. They talked about her "new curves" in some back-handed way to seem nice. But when I scrolled to the bottom, so many people had left comments. And most of them were talking back. They said things about how she looked beautiful the way she is, but that it really isn't our right in the first place to decide what her body should look like. And I am so glad these people chose to say (or type) what they did.
You see, you can try to stay away from the negative media all you want. But sooner or later, you have to face it. So I think the better approach is to face it - and speak up when you see something you don't like. Things won't go away just because you ignore them. Now, I understand that speaking up may not change the way the media works. But it will give you the power to have your own voice and make your own decisions about what beauty means to you. And that's beautiful in itself.
These days, beauty can really be taken to the extremes - fad diets, tanning, and at the most extreme, plastic surgery. I find it so fascinating, mostly because I live in a small enough town where it just isn't super-common. But whenever I watch the news or pick up a magazine, there seems to be new, wacky procedures (shoulder lipo, anyone?) all the time. Also, more and more celebrities are being accused of going under the knife, no matter how much they try to deny it.
Now, I generally believe that people have the right to do what they want with their bodies. But the problem I see with this growing trend is that it shifts the standards far beyond natural beauty. When so many celebs (and even average women and teens) are going in for parts as perfect (and real) as a Barbie doll, it gets a lot harder to accept your own body as beautiful as it is. Even if you know what's real and what's fake, it totally shifts the framework for what "beautiful" should be.
So I don't think that plastic surgery should be outlawed or anything. I mean, there's all kinds of ways to change your appearance, and that's a personal choice. But I think the reasons for doing it have to be considered. Health concerns are one thing, like when Ashley Tisdale got her nose done to fix the deviated septum that was causing breathing problems. But when it's insecurities, well, I don't think surgery can really fix that for you. "What I found, though, was that it didn't help me one bit," says actress Kathy Griffin, who got a face lift and multiple other procedures. "It didn't get me happier or didn't make me look particularly younger." Acceptance, happiness, confidence - these things really can't be touched by outside changes I've learned.
But what do you think, Fab Gal? Would you ever get plastic surgery, if it were a possibility? Do you think it's okay? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
So they say "Beauty is only skin deep," and "It's what's on the inside that counts." But how true is that, really? Does the way we look not matter at all? Is it possible that our outsides do affect us, at least a little bit?
Now, before you write me off, I would say that I really don't consider myself to be shallow or only skin-deep. But I think it's possible that our outsides (the way we look) and our insides (who we are) are a little bit connected. Sometimes, I live by what I call the "Barbie philosophy": Change your look, change your life. When Barbie changes outfits, she changes careers. Often when I'm trying to make a change in my life, or have some really big event coming up, I get a new outfit (or hairdo, or hair color) to match what new attitude I'm trying to project. It doesn't make the change, of course, but it kind of. . . completes it. It's like an actress getting into a part - you really can't be the Wicked Witch without a pointy hat and green make-up. Maybe that's a silly comparison. But I think how we appear can sometimes reflect who we are, or where we are in the process of figuring that out. At least a little bit.
How much do our outsides affect how we are on the inside? Probably only as much as we think it does. I think that sometimes it's okay to let an outside change give us that extra boost of confidence - so long as we don't forget that it's just a tiny reflection of who we are as a whole. And at that rate, I I think our insides have a reverse power on our outsides. Because when you feel confident and happy, you glow. And that's true beauty, inside and out, FG.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What do you think, FG? How important are looks? Should we let them affect us - a little bit, or at all? Let me know what you think, by comment or at The Fab Gal Myspace.
So I have to tell you a funny story. It was this Friday, and me and my good friend S were hanging out at a coffee shop before heading to a movie. When we were getting up to leave, this guy stopped her and said, "Hey, you're beautiful." She just said, "Oh, thanks. Have a good night!" When we were outside, I asked her who that was. "I have absolutely no idea," she said.
It was one of those funny, random moments, but it definitely made me think. S is beautiful of course - a beautiful person, a beautiful friend. And this random stranger beat me to the punch. When had I told her she was beautiful? All of my friends, actually. They're all beautiful. Wonderful. If I reflect half of how amazing they are, I am so, so lucky. I know all that, but I don't think I say it near enough.
I'm not saying we don't appreciate people. I think we do. But how often do you really tell them? Now, telling a stranger they're beautiful might seem a little silly. But what about your sisters, cousins, friends? They deserve to hear it every now and then. And you do too. Because hey, you're beautiful FG.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - I am looking for awesome blogs to share on the FG site! If you have a fave (or your own) to share - leave a comment to let me know!
So, I was talking to a Fab Lady the other day, and she said something that made me think of you. She was talking about a woman that she admired, and she noticed how that woman always seemed "comfortable in her beauty." That stuck out in my mind. What does it mean, to be comfortable in your beauty? So I started thinking about the people in my life that I see as beautiful - my aunts, my cousins, a few friends - and as I imagined each one, I saw them smiling and happy.
That's when it occurred to me: a large part of beauty is being comfortable in your own skin. Sure, there is the 2-D kind of beauty that will get you on the cover of a magazine, but real beauty? It's so much more than that. Think about it - doesn't your vision of someone change once you know what they're really like? Zac Efron would become so un-cute if he turned out to be a total jerk. Beauty is the whole package, including confidence, happiness, and personality.
It's okay if you're not comfortable with your beauty right now. Most of us FGs aren't yet. We're still trying new things and figuring out who we are and want we want. Once you find your place and stop worrying about what others think, you'll feel a lot more confident, and it'll show. There isn't really any magic trick to improve your self-esteem instantly. All I can say is if you keep growing and exploring and treat your self they way you should, everything will fall into place, FG, and you'll see how beautiful you are.
Let's discuss Fab Gals. Leave a comment to let me know who the beautiful people in your life are. What makes them beautiful - their confidence, their happiness, their looks? How have they affected your life?
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