"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
Yesterday, when I was out shopping, I just had to pick up a mag with Britney Spears on the cover. I try not to be too celeb-addicted, but at least it wasn't a trashy tabloid. I was just so excited to see her looking happy and healthy after all of the press that was out about her struggles the past year or so. Struggles that were well-documented b the paparazzi, waiting to see what she would do next. In fact, her music got very little attention compared to her personal life. It makes me wonder - why do we give more attention to people with drama?
One FG was telling me recently about what it had been like starting a new school this year. While it was mostly going really well, she said she felt like she got a lot less attention than the girls who caused all the drama. They were often fighting with their friends, or having an issue with some guy - and people wanted to know about it, talk to them, and be in on the action. Obviously not the same as what went on with Britney Spears, but think how little news coverage other stars, like Christina Aguilera or Reese Witherspoon, received in comparison for their highly successful careers but relatively normal lives.
I'm not exactly sure how or why things work out this way. I guess we just want a story - we want juicy gossip, we want excitement. But it certainly puts our values in the wrong place. It's almost like it's better to be a little wild child or drama queen so you can be noticed. But it's not worth it, and it won't make you feel happy with yourself. The good news is this - if you work hard at your talents, embrace your unique abilities, and choose to lead a life without drama, people will eventually notice. Take Beyoncé, America Ferrara, or Ashley Tisdale for example. Believe me, the respect and positive attention is totally worth the wait.
I have to admit: I have been obsessed with YouTube lately. Well not really obsessed, but I have been searching through and watching all of the fun celeb blogs (The Miley & Mandy Show, Demi & Selena...). And I want you to check this out - it's a short clip from one of Taylor Swift's vlogs.
Now, I love Taylor Swift. I think she is talented and sweet and beautiful and most of all, fearless. I mean, she writes songs about anyone, and she's never afraid of what they will think. But what about this video - do you think she went too far? Sure, it is super-funny. And I bet if you asked Taylor, she'd say he got what he deserved. But for some reason, this just feels like too much to me. Maybe it's just like writing a song, but that seems different - that's art. This is just a joke.
You really just have to be so careful when you decide to put something online. I don't think you should be afraid to say what you want to say, but you should be careful about posting something you'll regret. When we're embarrassed, angry, or broken-hearted, we tend to speak without thinking - things that you may not really feel or believe if you were thinking clearly. But if you post those things on YouTube, Myspace, or Facebook, they're no longer yours - they belong to all 500 of your "friends." You want people to see you as a Fab Gal, not as you in a Drama Queen moment.
What do you think FGs? Did Taylor take it too far? Was it just plain funny? Would you (or have you) put something like that online? Leave a comment to let me know!
Can you put up a good fight? Give 'em your best shot? Do you really even have to? The truth is, most of the time, you don't.
Sometimes, it really does seem like love, or life, is a battlefield. Everyone, everywhere is challenging something or someone. I heard it described like this - we live in a conflict culture, in constant states of arguments. Part of it is because, quite simply - conflict is entertaining, and it sells. It's funny to see Heidi and Lauren or America's Next Top Models caught up in a cat fight. And I guess we like to see our politicians duke it out, as if that proves that they really know what they're doing. Although it certainly doesn't help them get anything done. For the most part, that's okay - as long as it stays in the media. But if you internalize that idea, and start living battle to battle, things can get pretty difficult. It saps your energy, because everything looks like a challenge. Your sister is ruining your life, the traffic is out to get you, and everyone at school must be stupid if they don't understand your strong opinions.
I've been reading this super-awesome book, called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens, by Richard Carlson. And one of the lessons was about facing life's battles - simply put, choose wisely. Whenever a conflict arises, give it a ranking from 1-10 (Doesn't Really Matter on up to Majorly Big Deal). Anything 5 and below, let it go (and if you're unsure, assume you're ranking it too high). Like he says, practicing this technique saves your energy, because you don't waste your time on silly problems, and it makes it a lot easier for you to go after the ones you truly care about. Because your little sis borrowing your flip-flops is not that big of a deal. But what about standing up for your BFF, or taking on a personal challenge? Now those are worth fighting for.
Besides, if you're trying out for reality TV, you could probably stand to lose some drama.
So yesterday I finally got to see High School Musical 3. And of course, I loved it! I loved the music, the costumes (especially Sharpay's), and all the dancing. It was way bigger than either of the other two. And also more dramatic. Didn't it seem like Troy was way sad in a lot of the movie? It's like what my friend said: "That boy can make mountains out of molehills."
But seriously, think about it. His biggest problems were that he could either go to a great school to play basketball with his best friend, or maybe get a scholarship at another awesome school for theater, and all the while he was scared of missing his super-sweet girlfriend, who would be at Stanford. Wow, that sounds really terrible.
Okay, so Troy is a teeny bit over-dramatic. So what? Well, I think this is something everybody does from time to time. I'm not saying our problems aren't real. Sometimes things really are bad, and life has hit a real rough patch. But other times, it's all about point of view. Having two amazing schools to choose from? How lucky! Not sure what you want to do with your life, or who you want to be? Well, that means you have a lot of choices.
“Real obstacles don’t take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze.” – Barbara Sher
What I am saying is this - next time you're feeling down or freaking out, take a step back. Is this really a problem, or is this just a big (good) decision covered in stress? It will save you some drama - since you don't get to turn it into a musical number anyway...
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - Have you seen HSM3 yet? Love it? Hate it? I want to know what you think, FG!
Okay, so we are going to try something today. First, think about what's bugging you most right now. Anything that's really frustrating - a friend problem, boy drama, school, whatever. Think about why it is, but also think about how. Have you been thinking about it a lot? Stressing so much you can't sleep? It's okay to be really angry/sad/frustrated for a minute.
Now, reality check. If your biggest worry is something revolving around drama with school or friends, then your life is actually....pretty great. Really, think about it. Sure, right now it might seem like it sucks. But consider this - what is the worse thing that will happen if that one thing doesn't work out? If you think about it, you might not even remember a year from now. And if you do, things probably won't seem as bad as they do this minute.
Sometimes life seems like too much when we focus on the negatives. It's so easy to do because the bad things are the things that need to be "fixed." We lose sight of what's actually good. Really, most of our everyday issues are temporary. They don't need so much of our attention, because things will work themselves out, eventually. You don't need to try and fix everything right now. Even more difficult stuff doesn't last forever. None of it is worth missing the good stuff for.
For today, Fab Gal, I encourage you (and myself!) to not stress so much. Don't give the bad stuff your whole focus. Appreciate all the little things that are really great, whether or not that one problem works out or not. Leave room to be pleasantly surprised, because you just never know when something good will come your way. And you certainly don't want to miss it...
So summertime is in full swing, and I have been catching up on one of my guilty pleasure reads: the Gossip Girl books. I know they're bad, but I just can't help it - I love the fashion the romance, and most of all, the drama. Yes, we all secretly love a little drama, in real life or in books. But it got me thinking, why are we so hooked on it?
Sure no girl will admit it, but we do love to stir up trouble. Usually, the one who is rolling her eyes and saying, "Ugh, I'm sick of all this drama," is the Queen Bee herself. Let's just face it: we want to be noticed, we want people to be talking. And nothing draws attention quicker than a scandal, whether it's a cat-fight over a two-timing boyfriend or something that happened at that big party last weekend. Like they say in Hollywood, "There's no such thing as bad publicity."
But hold up for a sec, is that really true? Sure, gossip captures attention for now, but eventually, if you're the chica always causing a scene, you're rep is going to take a major blow. Like the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf, people will write you off, and you'll be in line with all of the Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans of this world.
Believe it or not, there is another way, a better way, to get people to take notice: by staying out of all of they cattiness. By being your true self. By being confident and holding to your beliefs. The attention won't be as immediate, but eventually people will really respect you for it, and you will be noticed for the Fab Gal that you are, not for what you did last weekend. And that admiration will be long-lasting, and well worth the wait.
So Fab Gals, let's leave the drama to Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy and get the attention we really deserve - for being absolutely fabulous.
How does drama affect your life? Do you know someone that will do anything to get noticed? What is your fave (fictional) drama fix?
Give me the scoop FGs, and keep in touch with me at fabgalsite@gmail.com.
