The Fab Gal

Girl Talk for Fabulous Teens

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Making Bad Days Better

Hello Fab Gals!

Yep, we've all been there. Sometimes it's because of a break-up, or drama with friends, or stress from school, family, and everything else you've got going on. Or sometimes, there might not really be a reason at all. And when you do have a bad day, it can make you feel like crawling into a hole and just giving up. But bad days are really when you need to take care of yourself the most. Here are some FG-approved tips for getting through:

Find The One. No, I'm not talking about searching for Mr. Right (although that certainly would help, wouldn't it?). I'm talking about the one person you can come to when you're facing a challenge or just feeling down. It can be anybody you trust - a sister, parent, teacher, BFF or school counselor. But having even just one person that you can turn to when you're feeling down can make a big difference.
Do something... When it feels like everything in your day has gone wrong, it's like the only thing you want to do is slide into bed and hide under the covers. But doing something active that you enjoy - be that jogging, baking, sewing, or even going for a walk around the mall - keeps your body and mind occupied. Also, talking on a small challenge, like cleaning up your room or working on a project, reminds you that you really can do anything.
...then do nothing. When you're feeling down, you really need a little pick-me-up. Find something that you love to do - reading magazines, listening to music, writing in your journal, taking a bubble bath - and do it. No questions asked.
Remember the positives... This one is the hardest for me (but probably also the most important). Bad days often end up feeling way worse when we spend time thinking about things that went wrong, like a fight with a friend. But even if everything went completely wrong that day, there are other positives - things you are grateful for, challenges you've overcome in the past, and things you're looking forward to. Try to take a minute to delight in those things.
...and that you're not alone. Thankfully, there are many happy and successful Fab Gals out there that have lived through a bad day (or week or month) and come through, maybe even stronger than before. And for any one person who's brought you down in a day, there really are many more who want the best for you. Including your fellow FGs. So hang in there, baby.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: advice, bad day, emotions, fab gal, girls, problem solving, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 11:39 AM 0 comments

Friday, January 30, 2009

Positively Crazy

Hey FGs!

People always talk about the "power of positive thinking," or how "seeing the world through rose-colored glasses" can change your life. I don't want to say that's not true, but... it just never seems that simple, and I never understood why.

Anyways, someone gave me this article about the ten errors of thinking, things like "mind reading" (assuming that someone thinks badly of you) or "all-or-nothing thinking" (everything is either totally perfect or a total flop). They're kind of like the roadblocks or brick walls to thinking clearly. Or maybe not blocks, but ways we tried to save ourselves - from getting disappointed, getting hurt. Or enjoying life more than we think we should.

And yesterday, I woke up with the feeling that nothing was going to go right. I had put off homework all week, and between dinner and other activities I wasn't sure I'd have time to finish and go to the movies. I was definitely being positive - positive I was going to mess things up. My day just continued on the same way. I worried about my friend not calling me back, and my outfit not being right. And homework. And boys. Everything. Life of a teenage girl, I know. But the worst part was that I kept telling myself I couldn't handle it.

Finally, I took a break, took a breath. And I looked in the mirror. And I realized, Hey, you look really beautiful today. I had been so frazzled that I didn't take the time to straighten my hair. It looked really cool, all wavy. I had never noticed that before. So that's the worst of it. I was so intent on assuming everything was wrong I missed the thing that had gone right.

That lead me to my personal FG challenge for the week - making note of the kinds of negative statements I make to myself that stop me from seeing the reality of things. Because life is messy and wavy and unpredictable. And that's beautiful.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: advice, fab gal, girls, life lessons, positivity, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 2:00 PM 0 comments

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Sweetest Season

Hello FGs!

So the holidays are here! Time for family, music, giving, and yes - lots of sweet treats. It's funny, but I think every time I've turned on the TV or opened a magazine lately there's something about overeating (and dieting) through the holidays, the calorie counts of egg nog and gingerbread men, or how much weight people gain on average during this season. Talk about a ho ho whole lot of stress - I haven't even made it to Christmas dinner and I'm almost wishing I could skip to New Year's so I could make the resolution to lose all of this holiday weight I hear that I am going to gain.

It's true that there is a lot deal with over the holidays. And maybe sugar cookies and

holiday goodies don't make for a balanced meal. But being overly preoccupied with it isn't healthy either. There's a lot of conflicting messages - first there's all of the delicious recipes, but then there's how bad all of these treats are and why you shouldn't have them. Throw this on top of everything else at this time of year, and it can be a lot to take.

Okay, so that's the problem. What's the solution? Well FG, I think that the smartest thing you can do is keep it in perspective. There is no way, no matter how many candy canes you consume, that you are going to gain 10 pounds over the holidays. And you absolutely deserve to have a wonderful time without worrying about sticking to a diet or avoiding once-a-year treats. And with whatever you deal with this holiday - food, family, or otherwise - remember: no expectations, no reservations. Things may not go perfect, but if you allow yourself to ditch the rules and be as happy as you wish, they will be very merry.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: eating disorders, fab gal, holidays, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 10:24 AM 0 comments

Friday, December 12, 2008

Enjoying the Present

Hello Fab Gals!

Whew. Life is pretty crazy sometimes, no? It's funny, because when I've got a lot going on in the present, I get more and more focused on the future. I think about everything that's coming up, and make all kinds of schedules and to-do lists. Okay, that's probably just me. But I think everyone does it to a degree - as if looking ahead will make you more prepared, and you won't be as frazzled as you are now. but it doesn't really help that much, does it? Living in the future just extends your worries beyond what you can control right now. A better solution - just being in the present.

I think that's a Zen-philosophy idea, the attempt to be where you are doing what you're doing, with whoever your with, right this moment. It doesn't seem like it would make that much of a difference, but it totally does. You can't change things that haven't happened, and over-thinking how something might go won't make it that way. Like right now, I keep getting distracted by what I'm going to do this weekend and who I hope to see and what I should be getting done. But there's nothing I can do about that right now.

Staying present will decrease your stress because it will make it easier for you to handle each situation (you can think more clearly when you're not distracted), and because it will make you enjoy each moment more. Think about little kids - they love to experience everything that is around them. So next time you find yourself getting worried or foggy-headed, take a deep breath and remember that you can handle each moment, just as this one, whenever it gets here.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: fab gal, problem solving, relaxing, staying present, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 1:27 PM 0 comments

Friday, November 28, 2008

Greatest Time of Year

Hello Fab Gals!

As of this morning, the holiday season is officially in full swing. I've already busted out my Christmas CDs and got working on my shopping lists. And one look at the calendar says that the next month is going to be jam-packed.

It's kind of funny, and maybe a little sad, that so many people find this "season of joy" to be majorly stressful. Kids never seem to see it that way. When I was little, I loved December most of all, because it was like one whole month of excitement and celebration. But somewhere along the line, all of that childhood wonder seems to get lost. All of these worries come up - What will this holiday food do to my diet? What on earth will I wear to the big party? What do I need to by for my BFF/boyfriend/sister/cousin/etc.? Suddenly, that holiday spirit is melting faster than Frosty on a sunny day.

But maybe it doesn't have to be so bad. My goal for this year is to focus on the simple pleasures of the holiday season. Sure, the end of the year may mean more tests, more chores, and less sleep. But there's lots of great things, too - candy canes, early morning shopping, snow. There's also a million opportunities to be giving, and a chance to appreciate the people that make all 365 days merrier. So get with your FGs, kick back, and make some hot cocoa - whether or not you buy the perfect present or wear the most glamorous party dress, there's no reason you don't deserve to celebrate life and cherish the wonderful people in it. That's what this time is really about.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: fab gal, girls, holidays, relaxing, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 6:49 AM 0 comments

Monday, November 17, 2008

Silence, Please

Hello Fab Gals!

Lately, I've been feeling a little foggy, like I haven't really been able to think clearly. I mean, when life gets really fast-paced, as it often does at this time of year, it gets really noisy too. It's like dancing through life with the radio on - it's fun at first, but sometimes you just need quiet, to hear your own heartbeat, your own thoughts. Then, I was in an interview the other day, and the woman asked me, when talking about my writing and such, "Why is it that you want to do this, why is it so important to you?" Pause. Wait, what? I couldn't even remember at the moment. It was definitely time to clear my head.

So I decided that, this weekend, I would find one hour of time just for me, hoping to find some clarity and inspiration. I wanted to get away from everything, so I started walking. Away from my house, away from my school, past the museum I used to volunteer at and my fave restaurant. I kept walking, thinking I needed to find a quiet place, away from all of these familiar ones. But I soon realized that if I went further, I would reach my mom's office, the movie theatre I've been to a million times, and the building where we had our school dance. It was like a quiet place, away from all the pieces of my life, didn't even exist.

But you really can't just "get away" from your life completely. It's all a part of you - past memories, people, present conflicts, all of it. I mean, I could jump on a plane and fly to Fiji, but I don't think that would really give me any more answers than I have here. What I think is that you have to learn to tap into your personal silence, that comes with having the strength of knowing where you stand well enough to be able to take in the noisiness of life, and then tune it out for a moment to know what your "answers" are. Maybe that's what they mean by intuition.

Now I'm not saying that I have found this place exactly, this intuition or clarity. I was really only outside an hour. But I am pretty sure it exists. And the whole point of this long story is that, when you are faced with big decisions, frustrations, and confusion, try to turn down the noise of your life for a moment so you can hear that voice. You know what's right, and you have that personal strength, FG. You just have to learn to tap into it. Once you do, the noise of your life will start to sound a lot more like sweet music.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: fab gal, girls, intuition, life lessons, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 9:31 AM 0 comments

Monday, November 3, 2008

One Step at a Time

Hey there Fab Gals!

How are you doing? If you're feeling a little overwhelmed, you're probably not alone. It seems like this is the busiest time of year - school is in full swing, the holiday season is quickly approaching. There's a lot going on. Sometimes, we fill up our plates really full - school, friends, family, activities, etc. Maybe more full than we can handle. Other times, maybe just one big project or issue on on your brain. When you try to handle your worries all at once, it can seem a little overwhelming. Instead of seeing the big picture, you'll just feel confused. Frazzled. Where can you even begin?

I keep hearing that Jordin Sparks song on the radio: "We live and we learn to take one step at a time, there's no need to rush." And it's so right. Just breaking down a problem into little steps - whether it's a big paper or a personal goal. You can't do it all at once, but you also shouldn't do nothing at all because you're scared to begin. Even if you can only take one little baby step. Because then you can take another. And another. Before you know it, you've walked the whole mile.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: fab gal, girls, problem solving, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 8:21 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Want it All

Hello Fab Gals!

So yesterday I finally got to see High School Musical 3. And of cour

se, I loved it! I loved the music, the costumes (especially Sharpay's), and all the dancing. It was way bigger than either of the other two. And also more dramatic. Didn't it seem like Troy was way sad in a lot of the movie? It's like what my friend said: "That boy can make mountains out of molehills."

But seriously, think about it. His biggest problems were that he could either go to a great school to play basketball with his best friend, or maybe get a scholarship at another awesome school for theater, and all the while he was scared of missing his super-sweet girlfriend, who would be at Stanford. Wow, that sounds really terrible.

Okay, so Troy is a teeny bit over-dramatic. So what? Well, I think this is something everybody does from time to time. I'm not saying our problems aren't real. Sometimes things really are bad, and life has hit a real rough patch. But other times, it's all about point of view. Having two amazing schools to choose from? How lucky! Not sure what you want to do with your life, or who you want to be? Well, that means you have a lot of choices.

“Real obstacles don’t take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze.” – Barbara Sher

What I am saying is this - next time you're feeling down or freaking out, take a step back. Is this really a problem, or is this just a big (good) decision covered in stress? It will save you some drama - since you don't get to turn it into a musical number anyway...

xoxo

The Fab Gal

PS - Have you seen HSM3 yet? Love it? Hate it? I want to know what you think, FG!

Labels: drama, fab gal, High School Musical 3, positivity, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 9:01 AM 0 comments

Friday, October 24, 2008

Dealing with Stress, part 2

Hello Fab Gals!

So I told you a little bit about stress symptoms. And hopefully you know yours, but aren't dealing with them right now. The problem with those is that sometimes, we starting feeling them when we haven't been recognizing how we feel, so it all just kinda builds up. What if you can't remember why you're stressed?

It's okay to not act on every bad mood or feeling, because sometimes they just come up without reason. But when you put them down, or think "I shouldn't be feeling this way," you start to make them seem unimportant. Girls can be especially prone to do this, because we don't want to make anyone unhappy. But it certainly isn't healthy.

It's important, for your own sake, to at least acknowledge your feelings as you have them. One time, we learned meditation in class, and as every thought or feeling came up, you simply named it, like "That is worry" or "That is sadness," and then just let it be. I think that could be really helpful. Writing in a journal or finding some other type of release is good too. And of course, always find someone you can talk to, be it a friend, parent, or counselor, when your stress is too much to let pass.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: emotions, fab gal, happiness, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 9:25 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is That Stress I See?

Hey Fab Gals!

We all have it from time to time. Stress. And some amount of it is good for you, or so I hear. But there are times, especially when you're a teen girl these days, when it gets to be a little too much. But how do you know when you've had enough?

Believe it or not, everyone has signs, or what I like to call symptoms of stress. Maybe there's something you do - biting your nails, scratching, eating too much. Some people get physically ill, or have a hard time sleeping. It's funny, because we think we're so good at hiding how we feel, and keeping it under the surface. But if you really pay attention, we're not - it's like our body sends out a stress SOS, if we're willing to see it.

Of course, it is possible for a physical problem to be the cause of stress - being sick may make you feel a little down. But it's important to realize when these outer problems are a sign of something inside. It could just be temporary, but if things are feeling a little rough, it's good to find someone you can talk to. Because if you completely ignore it, there's a lot of bigger stress symptoms - drug use, eating disorders, and cutting are all habits that can come out of emotional stress.

I don't want you to get stressed out about your stress - just think about what your symptoms might be, and use them to your advantage to recognize when you need to slow it down. If you need some help, I'm always here for ya. Reach me at fabgalsite@gmail.com or The Fab Gal Myspace.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: emotions, fab gal, girls, health, stress, teens

posted by Fab Gal @ 8:14 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 15, 2008

Choices, Choices...

Hey FGs!

Do you ever realize how many decisions we have to make in a day? I was trying to start a count. The alarm goes off, Do I really have to get out of bed? Open up the dresser, light jeans or dark jeans? Which sweatshirt? Sneakers or flats? Okay, so now you're dressed. But the day has hardly begun...

I read an article recently, about how we are given too many choices and how much better life would be if we didn't have them. That seems like a really silly thing to complain about. Too many choices? That's like complaining about having too many shoes, or too much ice cream.

Admittedly, I really don't like making decisions. I am pretty indecisive, weighing the issues back and forth. If it's just picking a movie with friends, I'll let them decide. Lately, though, it's seemed like there are bigger decisions than strawberry or vanilla. That's when I really do think that there are too many choices.

Unfortunately, when life brings you to those crossroads, there really isn't an easy way out. Realistically, making no decision or letting someone decide for you is nowhere near as good as just picking for yourself, one way or another. It can get really frustrating. But you have to keep it in perspective; while things may seem bad now, in the long run it's definitely not the end of the world. Whether your decision turns out to be the "right" one or the "wrong" one, things will work themselves out in the end. Besides, having multiple choices means that you have multiple opportunities. All you can do is take your best shot and go for it! I'll be cheering for you.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: decisions, fab gal, opportunities, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 8:22 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 8, 2008

No Worries

Hey hey Fab Gals!

Okay, so we are going to try something today. First, think about what's bugging you most right now. Anything that's really frustrating - a friend problem, boy drama, school, whatever. Think about why it is, but also think about how. Have you been thinking about it a lot? Stressing so much you can't sleep? It's okay to be really angry/sad/frustrated for a minute.

Now, reality check. If your biggest worry is something revolving around drama with school or friends, then your life is actually....pretty great. Really, think about it. Sure, right now it might seem like it sucks. But consider this - what is the worse thing that will happen if that one thing doesn't work out? If you think about it, you might not even remember a year from now. And if you do, things probably won't seem as bad as they do this minute.

Sometimes life seems like too much when we focus on the negatives. It's so easy to do because the bad things are the things that need to be "fixed." We lose sight of what's actually good. Really, most of our everyday issues are temporary. They don't need so much of our attention, because things will work themselves out, eventually. You don't need to try and fix everything right now. Even more difficult stuff doesn't last forever. None of it is worth missing the good stuff for.

For today, Fab Gal, I encourage you (and myself!) to not stress so much. Don't give the bad stuff your whole focus. Appreciate all the little things that are really great, whether or not that one problem works out or not. Leave room to be pleasantly surprised, because you just never know when something good will come your way. And you certainly don't want to miss it...

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: drama, expectaitons, fab gal, happiness, stress

posted by Fab Gal @ 9:18 AM 0 comments

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fab Gal Top 10: Ways to Relax

Hey Fab Gals!

I don't know about you, but I have been crazy-busy lately. I enjoy it, but sometimes living at high-speed can wear you down, and it's good to take some time to take care of yourself. Here are some small ways for a FG to get some TLC.

1. Exercise - I'll admit this is not always my first choice when I'm stressed. But taking care of your body always makes you feel better, and being active clears your head. Plus, endorphins can boost your mood!

2. Journal - When you're feeling overwhelmed, writing it out can be a good release for what you're feeling. It doesn't have to be A+ material - it's for your eyes only!

3. Spa Day - What better way to relax? It's cool if you can't afford to go to a real salon - I couldn't either. You can find all kinds of recipes for homemade masks online. That, a cucumber, and some nail polish and you're good to go!

4. Get Outside - There's something pretty magical about the sun for making you feel better. Take a few minutes to walk outside and see some natural beauty - it will definitely brighten your day.

5. Enjoy your Favorites - Sometimes when life gets hard, all you need is some of your comforts. Whatever it is, be it your favorite food or listening to the Jonas Brothers CD for the millionth time, go ahead and enjoy it!

6. Support System - When I'm not sure what to do, I always know I have some people that are ready to listen in a heartbeat. Having someone that you can call on when things get rough is the best thing.

7. Go for Ice Cream - They say it's bad to turn to food when you're sad, but sometimes it's good to let yourself indulge after a long, hard week of tests, boys, chores, etc. Get a little of your favorite food - be it ice cream, pizza, whatever - to treat yourself.

8. Listen to Music - Music can be so powerful in lifting you mood. Grab your favorite CD, turn up the stereo, and if you want to, dance! You'll feel so much better.

9. Take a deep breath - My mom always tells me to do this when life seems like too much. I always think it sounds silly, but it does work! When you're freaking out, take a few deep breaths, and just remember to take it one step at a time.

10. Laugh! - Laughter is the best medicine, right? I get it from my fave TV shows and hanging out with my best friends. There's no way to explain it, but it always makes you feel better!

How do you relax when life gets stressful, FGs? I hope you find sometime to do those things during your fabulously busy life! And remember, I'm always here when you need it.

xoxo

The Fab Gal

Labels: fab gal, fun ideas, relaxing, stress, top 10

posted by Fab Gal @ 9:33 AM 0 comments