"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
2012 is still brand new, so it’s that time when everyone is hopeful – making resolutions and looking forward to the possibilities of the New Year. It’s also that time for me (and maybe you!) when graduation is just a few months away. Sure, graduation is an ending, and reflecting about all that’s changed since you stepped through those school doors for the first time. But even more, graduation is about making big decisions for the future. What do you want to do with your life? Where will you go to college? Or maybe, who do you wanna be when you step into the halls of middle school? The questions and uncertainty are enough to make the future seem a little frightening.
When the future seems frightening, it’s easy to just push it away, focus on the now, ignore the what-ifs, and play it safe. That's what I've been doing, anyway. But of course, that’s not really dealing. No matter what you do (or don’t do) the future is always coming, one minute at a time. Thankfully for me, I have someone who always puts things in perspective. My dad reminded me that what matters most is thinking not just about the right now, but where you want to be in the future – whether that’s 1 year, 4 years, or 10 years. Because c’mon, you have big dreams, right? But the only way to get there is by pulling them out of the clouds and starting to work towards them right now, not some day in the future once this or that happens. I don’t want you or me to sell ourselves and our Fab-ness short by squishing down life into what fits in the present.
So I’m starting to make goals for the new year… including a few I hope to share with you. But what are your hopes, FG? How are you moving forward in 2012? Share in the comments below… and know I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
Do you ever wish that you had something that could make all of your decisions for you? Well, my dad has one. It's this little wheel that sits on his desk, and when you spin it it gives you an answer to your question (Nice, right?). The problem is that it's broken, so no matter how you spin it, it always lands on "Tomorrow." Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. And the funny thing is, I think a lot of people's inner decision-makers are broken in quite a similar way.
Everyone is a dreamer, whether they admit it or not. And it's easy to say that you'll get started working to those goals tomorrow, next week, or some other time. Like, "I'll start treating myself better tomorrow" or even "I'll be happy once I... (lose 5 pounds, get a boyfriend, become popular)." And of course tomorrow is beautiful - it always sits just beyond the sunset. But the difference between tomorrow and today is really the difference between having dreams and actually starting the work to make them happen.
Oprah said, "My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." And I wouldn't disagree with her - she's a woman who has made a few dreams happen. What usually stops us is that initial push, when it feels like you're a million miles away from where you really want to be. But you know what? That's cool. Because some place has to be your starting place. It might as well be right here, right now.
Being on break has given me a lot of time to catch up on some TV watching. And the other day, I was enjoying The Today Show, and they had this woman on the show talking about how to find your soul mate. And it was actually really, really interesting. Now I totally understand if you don't believe in that sort of thing. That's cool. But the tips that she shared were actually really good ones, and I think they could be helpful for any kind of goal or resolution.
The first one - write out exactly what you want. If we were talking Prince Charming here, we would describe him in as much detail as possible, from his hair to his heart. When you have a goal, it's good to be really specific as well. Like, if your resolution was to do better in school, what would that look like? Maybe that would be organizing your locker, studying for tests, going in for help after school. Or if you want to take better care of yourself, what does that mean? Maybe that would be exercising three times a week, or maybe it would mean making time to relax each day. Also include how accomplishing that goal will make you feel, or how your life will be differently once you get there.
The second tip was to, quite literally, make space in your life for Mr. Right. I think this can apply too. Making space for your goals and dreams to come true sends a clear message that you are serious about making them happen. How do you do that? Well, that's really up to you. Let's say your goal is to run in a race. "Making space" could be getting all the things you need to be a successful runner, and clearing out that day in your planner. What do you want your life to be like once you complete your resolution? Leave room to fill with the changes that you want to make happen.
So even if you're not looking for the perfect guy this year, hopefully these tips will help you to make the changes you dream about. Let me know what your goals are for 2009 - and remember, I'm always here for ya!
New Year's Eve is today! Can you believe that? It's almost 2009. This is probably my favorite holiday - there's something exciting about having a whole new year ahead of you, like a blank page. Of course, that new beginning inspires a lot of people to make a resolution.
Are you making a resolution for the new year? I have mixed feelings about hem. I mean, it seems like people expect them to be broken, so it's almost like they don't mean anything. And it seems like "losing weight" is always the #1 resolution. I was just watching the news, and they were talking about how to get "Flat Abs for the New Year." I certainly think making a resolution to work out more or eat more healthy food is wonderful. But seriously, are flat abs really the most important goal for 2009?
Then again, it is nice to have some direction, some goal for the new year. And if you have something you really want to get done, then by all means, go for it! But the cool thing is, even if you don't have a resolution, if you keep moving forward, things will change anyway. I have long since forgotten what my New Year's Resolution was last year, if I had one. But when I look back on the past year, so much changed - I started a new website, went to a new school, got a new hairdo, made new friends - and a million other tings that I couldn't have imagined or expected on January 1st.
So I haven't totally decided if I want to make a resolution. I still have 14 hours. But maybe I'll just create a good motto, or find a theme song. Or I might just go into the year completely resolution-free. Because even if you don't know what's going to happen, if you stay open to change and true to yourself, it will be a good adventure. Promise.
It's always hard, those last few weeks when summer is nearing it's end. No more swimming, sleeping in, spontaneous plans. In it's place comes homework, yucky food, and, ugh - the alarm clock. It's rough. But c'mon, admit it - there is always some excitement at the beginning of the year. It feels all new, especially when you're going to a new school (that's the case for me!). So here's some good goals for a fresh start:
Eat Lunch with a New Crowd - School lunch is lame. But you know what else is lame? Sitting in one place everyday. This is your chance to mix and mingle with new people. You might be scared, but others are probably more scared than you. So go for it, at least once a week.
Get a Study Buddy - If you need it, don't procrastinate. Maybe math's not your thing. No biggie. Just don't put it off - teacher's want to help, but it's harder to pick up the pieces than to just get help in the first place.
Try Something New - Sign up for that activity or club you've always wanted to try. It may be hard, but it will be worth it. Even if it doesn't turn out to be what you expected, you'll at least meet new people and have the experience.
Make "Me" Time - When the school year starts, it's hard to find time to get everything done. But you need to have some balance. Keep time to exercise, get good sleep, and watch your fave show. You body (and your spirit) will be glad you did.
Have Fun! - With all of these goals, or whatver you want to do this year, enjoy it! Celebrate your successes, or just celebrate your life. Give yourself room to be surprised and have fun, because that's what it's all about.
What are you hoping to do this school year, Fab Gals? What's your fave thing about going back to school? Leave a comment to let me know!
Around spring break, I decided to take up running. I'm a terrible runner. I just wasn't naturally built for it. I decided it would be good to work at something taht isn't natural to me, to conquer it. And secretly, I was hoping it would make me super-thin. You never see a runner that isn't way toned, and I figured this could be my ticket to hotness.
A few weeks in, after a particularly hot and sticky run, I had a moment of clarity: no matter what, no matter how hard or fast I ran, I would never have Jessica Alba's body. It sounds foolish. But that was a very humbling moment. Why should I be working so hard if my body isn't going to cooperate? I just assumed it would.
But I also realized this: Jessica Alba doesn't get to be me either. That's a darn shame. I am funny and smart and beautiful just like this. Yes. I am jealous of her body, it's true, but what we're really jealous of is the money and clothes and fame and hot boyfriends. And I'm pretty sure Jessica would tell you her flat abs didn't win those things.
So I still run. It's a perfect fit for my endless energy, and I love the way it makes my body feel. And it is good to know I'm doing something I never thought I could. And that's going to have much more payoff than good abs.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What kind of challenges have you overcome? Let me know here by comment, or at The Fab Gal Myspace.
About 6 years ago, I was obsessed with Crossroads. You know, that Britney Spears movie? It's okay - you can laugh. Point is, at the beginning of the movie, these three BFFs make a box with their memories and their goals for the future, and then they bury it, and agree to open it on a special date.
So me and my two BFFS, L and M, decided we should do it too. I don't remember much of its contents, but I know for sure I put in a CD because I wanted to be the next Britney Spears. L wanted to be an actress, and M wanted to be a marine biologist. We decided that we would open it at midnight on July 4, 2008. It's been 3 weeks since that day... and we still can't find it.
When we made the box, I remember thinking about what my life would be like now. Now, looking back, I wonder if I would be disappointed. Part of me thinks I would. I guess I just thought things would be different, more figured out. By the end of the movie, Britney has a record contract, a perfect boyfriend, and is well on the road to fame and riches. I really don't have anything that compares. I'm still waiting for that text to come through and the braces to come off and for the whole world to realize how wonderful and talented I am. Perfect? Not so much. I can't even find a stupid box.
Despite all of that, I am really, really happy with who I am right now. I learn new things everyday, and I am contstantly surprised with life. I have amazing friends. I don't know what the future holds, but I see where I'm going, and I like it. So maybe the smaller, blonder version of me would be disappointed. Too bad. But she wanted me to be Britney Spears, so she didn't have much foresight, anyway.
Okay, so I just need a minute to gush to you right now. Tonight, I am going to see the Jonas Brothers live! Exciting, right? I can't possibly wait. And even though this site is for girl talk, I think these Fab Guys have earned a moment of our attention. And not just because they're so cute.
The most amazing thing about the Jo Bros is how they've handled their success. In the last year they've gone from kinda somebodies to major celebrities. That, coupled with the train of screaming girls that follow them everywhere could certainly go to their pretty little heads. For so many young celebs, that's what happens. But with these guys, you can tell they're 100% genuine and down-to-earth. They adore their fans, they love what they do, and they're absolutely grateful for their success. That's the way it should be.
Since I know you FGs are going to be big stuff someday, promise me this: you will always do what you love and remember how blessed you truly are. There's no problem with you reaching for the stars, but always keep your feet on the ground. You want to be noticed for your amazing talents and heart, not for being a major diva. Enjoy every success, and share that joy with others.
I'll give you the scoop on the concert FGs, and any other big news. You Could be talking to Mrs. Fab Gal Jonas tomorrow... or not. We'll see what happens!
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - Have you seen their new video? Too awesome not to share!
One of my fave guilty-pleasure shows is Sex & the City. On one of the episodes, Charlotte says the thing that no woman wants to admit: every girl is waiting to be rescued. Secretly (or not-so-secretly) we are waiting for Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet - the ultimate happy ending. I started to wonder, is this true? Is that the only way our fairytales end?
I'll admit it, I was obsessed with them when I was little. I knew every Disney princess movie by heart. But if you think about it, the girl is always the star, but the happily ever after always depends on the prince. If it weren't for him, Cinderella would still be sweeping, Snow White would still be poisoned, and Sleeping Beauty would still be... sleeping. I suppose Beauty & the Beast would be the one exception. We love this stories so much, but what is that saying? Girls are helpless. It's the chick's job to be sweet and pretty while the boys get to play hero.
Wouldn't it be great to see it the other way, with the princess sweeping the prince of his feet in the end? It's a thought. I'm still going to dream about my happily ever after. But maybe my modern fairytale will end a little differently. Because seriously, we Fab Gals are not damsels-in-distress, thankyouverymuch. Prince Charming will just have to deal.
I want to send a Happy 4th of July to all of my Fab Gals in the US (and everyone else, too!). What a great day! In honor of this totally Fab country, I want to talk to you about what you do that makes you independent.
No matter where you live, you should value the opportunities that women have been gaining over the past years. There are women breaking ground in every field - politics, science, fashion, entertainment, you name it. I hate to sound like a mom, but seriously! You have no idea what amazing things you can do now. For the first time ever, a woman was able to be a real contender in the race for president. No matter what party your from, that is an astounding accomplishment.
It's also important to remember, as an independant woman, that it's okay to do what you want to do. Sometimes even the people that want the best for you don't know what's best for you. Value your own independence, and follow your pursuit of happiness. I mean, the Declaration said so, right?
Anyways, where I was going is this - it's a marvelous time to be a Fab Gal, no matter where you live. So celebrate that today. I hope you have a totally Fab holiday, my little firecrackers!
