"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
Even if you're stressed about the holidays, there are lots of things to enjoy about the coming month. Make some time to relax and enjoy the season - you'll be glad you did.
1. Hot Chocolate - Okay, this is one of my favorite things of winter. It's delicious, and believe it or not kinda good for you too. Check out these CosmoGIRL! recipes.
2. Movies - Some of the best movies come out this time of year. I'm excited for Marley & Me, which comes out December 25th. But I've also heard great things about Four Christmases and Twilight, which are both already in theatres.
3. Snow Days - Now is the time! Snow days are fabulous for curling up indoors (or playing outside). Even if you live somewhere it doesn't snow, it's still a great time to get cozy.
4. Dress-Up - With all of the parties and events that come up this month, there's a bunch of chances to get all dressed up. Even if you can't afford a bunch of new stuff (believe me, I can't either!), you can get creative with everything you've got in your closet already.
5. Music - I love, love, love holiday music. And if you need a little boost of holiday cheer this month, music can do it for you. Check it out - Jessica Simpson, Aly & AJ, the Cheetah Girls, and lots of your fave artists have made holiday CDs.
6. Baking - Whether you need treats for friends (or just for yourself), now is a time to get in the kitchen. It's relaxing, fun, and delicious -try this Seventeen.com recipes.
7. School Break - Winter break is getting close! And we could all use one every now and again.
8. Family Time - Okay, maybe they're a little bit crazy. But spending time with the fam can be great, and this month brings a lot of it. And hey, nobody loves you or understands you better -sometimes they can even teach you a thing or two.
9. Giving Back - There are always extra chances to volunteer or reach out to others in need of your help during this month. Keep an eye out, or check out this FG Top 10, if you need ideas.
10. Almost a New Year... December means that the year is almost over, and 2009 will be here soon. New year, new opportunities. What do you want to do with it?
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - What are your favorite parts of this month? Leave a comment to share your thoughts.
As of this morning, the holiday season is officially in full swing. I've already busted out my Christmas CDs and got working on my shopping lists. And one look at the calendar says that the next month is going to be jam-packed.
It's kind of funny, and maybe a little sad, that so many people find this "season of joy" to be majorly stressful. Kids never seem to see it that way. When I was little, I loved December most of all, because it was like one whole month of excitement and celebration. But somewhere along the line, all of that childhood wonder seems to get lost. All of these worries come up - What will this holiday food do to my diet? What on earth will I wear to the big party? What do I need to by for my BFF/boyfriend/sister/cousin/etc.? Suddenly, that holiday spirit is melting faster than Frosty on a sunny day.
But maybe it doesn't have to be so bad. My goal for this year is to focus on the simple pleasures of the holiday season. Sure, the end of the year may mean more tests, more chores, and less sleep. But there's lots of great things, too - candy canes, early morning shopping, snow. There's also a million opportunities to be giving, and a chance to appreciate the people that make all 365 days merrier. So get with your FGs, kick back, and make some hot cocoa - whether or not you buy the perfect present or wear the most glamorous party dress, there's no reason you don't deserve to celebrate life and cherish the wonderful people in it. That's what this time is really about.
For all of you in the US, I'm sure you know what tomorrow is - Turkey Day, aka Thanksgiving. So of course, I think this is an excellent time to talk a little about gratitude.
No matter what the adults want to say, I think most of us are pretty thankful chicas. Maybe we don't say it out loud enough, but you know what you're grateful for - maybe your family, your BFFs, your health, yourself, or your phone. All of that. We can say thanks for all the good things easy enough. But I think it's possible to take gratitude to another level.
What if you could be thankful for the not-so-fabulous things in your life? I know, it sounds crazy. But if you can take on this perspective or gratitude (or at least acceptance), you'll begin to realize that every barrier or obstacle is really just a challenge or a lesson in life. They're something you can overcome - that will certainly make you stronger in the end. And at the same time, those bad things will start to make the good ones seem even more wonderful. Life will be sweeter than pumpkin pie.
So this holiday, take on the FG challenge: Think of something that has been hurting or heart-breaking to you, and see if you can't start to change your view of it. Recognize all of the things that you learned, or how it made you stronger. Say, "I am thankful for this experience because __________." Your heart and your spirit will be that much freer to take in all of those things you're truly happy to have in your life.
I don't know how much you pay attention to celebrity gossip, but there has been a lot of buzz about Miley Cyrus and her new bf. The 16-year-old is dating Justin Gaston, a singer/model who is 20 years old. Just as with anything that a celebrity does, there has been a lot of criticism - many are saying that he's way too old for her. Of course, I don't want to judge her or say she's a bad person, but I think this brings up an interesting question: How old is too old when it comes to boyfriends/girlfriends?
When you're an adult, it seems like age doesn't really matter. But when you're young, it seems like even just a few years can be a big deal. The rules seem to be more flexible in high school than in middle school. But still, when is the age difference okay, and where does it cross the line? Is 1 year okay, or 2 years? Does it matter if one of you is over 18? Or is it okay as long as your friends (or parents or siblings) say so?
Of course, the answer is complicated, and it probably depends a lot on the situation. Part of the difficulty is that if the age gap is large, the two of you are probably in completely different stages of life, which come with different issues, needs, and expectations. But if you are serious about making it work, there's a few things you can do: First off, be completely open with your parents about your relationship. They'll probably be worried at first, but they're parents, and that's their job. If you have to keep it hidden, it's probably not a good sign. Second, you will have to be prepared for people to be skeptical. If people don't get it, then it's best to just let it roll off -there's no need for you to change their mind. And finally - respect your limits. Dating someone older might seem really exciting, but there's no need to rush into anything.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What's your take on girls dating older guys (or the other way around)? Leave a comment to let me know your thoughts.
So holiday season isn't quite here yet, but I am so ready for it! And it's about time to think about going shopping. Maybe you know what's on your wish list, but what are you getting your FGs? If you're like me, you want to get them something special - that' won't break the piggy bank. Think of this list as your starter guide for the perfect presents:
1. Get Crafty - Why not give her something made special by you? Crafts are so fun because they are unique, thoughtful, and won't even cost you too much! Look online for instructions for making jewelry, keepsakes, and all kinds of cute stuff.
2. Share the Music - Holiday music is so my thing, so one year I handed out mixed CDs of my fave holiday tunes. Even if you don't want to go with the holiday theme, you could make your friends a "friendship soundtrack," with all the songs that remind you of them.
3. Bake Up Some Love - Let's face it, who doesn't love good food? Whipping up a batch of sugar cookies or another treat is fun for you, and you'll have presents that all of your friends can enjoy.
4. Capture the Memories - If you and your BFF take a lot of photos, why not gather them up for her? Photo albums, scrapbooks, or even a collage are sweet and creative.
5. Save it for Later - If your friend is truly the girl who has it all, why not give her something that isn't found in a store? Make up a gift certificate for a girls' night, spa day, or slumber party - redeemable whenever she wants.
6. Get Her Started - Is there a hobby she's always wanted to try - scrapbooking, making sushi, running, whatever? Make her a starter pack of things to help her get going on that dream.
7. Spread the Joy - Maybe you can find a gift that's double duty - something cute that also gives part of the proceeds to charity. Better yet, you and your girls can decide to skip the gifts this year, and each donate $10 to a cause you love.
8. Her Faves - What things always make you think of your friend? Does she have a favorite food, favorite lip gloss, favorite candle? Whatever those things are, they are probably a safe bet for presents. Make her a friendship box of all of those things that remind you of her. It's a safe bet, and she will know you were truly thinking of her.
9. Your Fave - If you're at a loss at what to get for a new friend, why not give her something that you love? A favorite book, CD, or treat will show you are thoughtful - and help her get to know you a little better.
10. Skip it! - If you and your friends are running out of ideas (or $) for gifts to give, why not just skip it? Have a holiday party for yourselves instead. It will help you get pumped for winter break, and the memories will last long after the wrapping paper's gone.
What are your gift ideas, FG? What are you getting for your friends this year? Let me know by comment or at The Fab Gal Myspace Blog.
"Real obstacles don't take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze." - Barbara Sher
Hey Fab Gals!
They always say that history repeats itself. And I guess I never really knew what that meant, but I'm starting to see how that works out. Some things in life truly are miracles, once-in-a-lifetime, or one-time-only. Unique occurrences happen that won't happen again. But many aspects of life, including people, work in cycles.
Often, if we do things one time, and it turns out well, we'll do them again. Like if I study for my test and I get a really good grade, I will probably study hard again the next time. This is a good kind of pattern. But sometimes, circular patterns can work to our disadvantage. For example, you might get in a habit of eating too much (or not at all) when you're sad, or you might get in a pattern of reacting really harshly to conflicts. It doesn't make sense, but for some reason, if these things that we do - to heal ourselves, make us feel better - seem like the only solution, we might do them again. And again. And like the hands of the clock, they keep on returning, and become a part of our lives.
Now, this doesn't sound good. But recognizing the circles of our lives can help us get out of problems that may be negative, harmful, or even self-destructive to ourselves. Patterns are simple, and once you can see them, you can dig a little deeper to see where the real issue is. And don't forget to appreciate all of the wonderful, beautiful cycles of life - the return of your favorite season, the school bell at the end of the day, your fave TV show. Those are the good kind of repeats.
I was reading Glamour the other day, and it was the Women of the Year issue. They featured many well-known women, including some I admire - Tyra Banks, Nicole Kidman, and Hillary Clinton. But the most interesting one was two women I hadn't heard of, and I just have to share their story with you:
Nujood Mohammed Ali is a 10-year-old girl from Yemen, who was enjoying school until her parents took her out to be married at 10. Child marriage is pretty common there, but Nujood was so unhappy and just wanted to leave and go back to school. She tried to get help, but nobody would do anything. So she went to court - by herself. Eventually, her story got back to Shada Nasser, a human rights lawyer who started the first female law office in San'a, Yemen, and who started her practice by helping imprisoned women in Yemen, who often don't know their rights. Nujood's strength and Nasser's help paid off - Nujood was granted a divorce, she is now back in school, and "life is sweet as candy."
I thought this story was amazing because it represents the best qualities we FGs have - personal courage and the strengh of a helping hand. It's so sad to think that there might be other girls forced into child marriages. But this story is proof-positive that women are truly strong enough to stand on their own two feet and take a challenge. And together? We can conquer anything.
Lately, I've been feeling a little foggy, like I haven't really been able to think clearly. I mean, when life gets really fast-paced, as it often does at this time of year, it gets really noisy too. It's like dancing through life with the radio on - it's fun at first, but sometimes you just need quiet, to hear your own heartbeat, your own thoughts. Then, I was in an interview the other day, and the woman asked me, when talking about my writing and such, "Why is it that you want to do this, why is it so important to you?" Pause. Wait, what? I couldn't even remember at the moment. It was definitely time to clear my head.
So I decided that, this weekend, I would find one hour of time just for me, hoping to find some clarity and inspiration. I wanted to get away from everything, so I started walking. Away from my house, away from my school, past the museum I used to volunteer at and my fave restaurant. I kept walking, thinking I needed to find a quiet place, away from all of these familiar ones. But I soon realized that if I went further, I would reach my mom's office, the movie theatre I've been to a million times, and the building where we had our school dance. It was like a quiet place, away from all the pieces of my life, didn't even exist.
But you really can't just "get away" from your life completely. It's all a part of you - past memories, people, present conflicts, all of it. I mean, I could jump on a plane and fly to Fiji, but I don't think that would really give me any more answers than I have here. What I think is that you have to learn to tap into your personal silence, that comes with having the strength of knowing where you stand well enough to be able to take in the noisiness of life, and then tune it out for a moment to know what your "answers" are. Maybe that's what they mean by intuition.
Now I'm not saying that I have found this place exactly, this intuition or clarity. I was really only outside an hour. But I am pretty sure it exists. And the whole point of this long story is that, when you are faced with big decisions, frustrations, and confusion, try to turn down the noise of your life for a moment so you can hear that voice. You know what's right, and you have that personal strength, FG. You just have to learn to tap into it. Once you do, the noise of your life will start to sound a lot more like sweet music.
I've been crusing around YouTube lately, and I am totally obsessed with all of the celebrity videos out there right now. I especially love series of web shows put out by celebs themselves - it's just fun to see that even these big stars have their silly moments. So check out these celebrity YouTube channels for some fun.
1. The Miley and Mandy Show - Miley Cyrus and her best friend, Mandy Jiroux, created this crazy web show just for their fans to enjoy.
2. Seventeen Magazine - You know Seventeen is one of my favorite mags. Go here for behind-the-scenes scoop.
3. Demi & Selena - Not to be outdone by Miley and Mandy, these two famous BFFs decided to start their own show (complete with Jonas Brothers guest appearances).
4. Hollywood Records - If music videos are your thing, this is the one to check out. They produce and feature everyone from Hilary Duff and Hayden Panetierre to the Plain White T's and Jesse McCartney.
5. Taylor Swift - If you're a true Taylor fan, this is for you - it's got everything from music videos to vlogs made by Taylor herself (like the clip I showed you the other day).
6. PopStar Magazine - Funny interviews and candid clips of celebs talking to PopStar Magazine. Weren't you always wondering what Drew Seeley would do as president?
7. The Real Alyson Stoner - This cutie from Camp Rock has a channel to chat with her fans. Keep an eye on her - she's one of the next big stars.
8. Ashley Tisdale - I think all of the Disney stars have YouTube channels these days! Mostly trailers, but there is a great one of the HSM crew pranking Zac.
9. The Ro and Co Show - Did you know Cody Linley, Hannah Montana's TV BF Jake Ryan, could rap? Well, you just have to see it to believe it.
10. Alpha Kitty - This isn't your typical celeb video, but it's way cool. They're made by Atoosa, the former editor of Seventeen and CosmoGIRL!.
Okay, FGs! Check them out, enjoy, and let me know if you find any other great videos!
So I have to tell you about a book I'm reading lately. It's called Letter to My Daughter, and it's by Maya Angelou. First off, I just think she is an amazing woman. Whenever you hear her speak, it's just so comforting and inspiring. If I'm lucky enough to get to be a grown-up someday, I'd like to be a little bit like Maya.
Anyways, so the idea behind this book is that we are all her daughters, no matter who we are or what we look like. And this book is everything she would like to tell her daughter - stories, lessons, good times, bad times. Like she says, "My life has been long, and believing that life loves the liver of it, I have dared to try many things, sometimes trembling, but daring, still. I have only included here events and lessons which I have found useful." And let me tell you, from reading just a few chapters, I can say that Maya has experienced much and learned more. But the beautiful part is her willingness to share.
One of my favorite quotes (by Florence Nightingale) is "If your experiences would benefit anybody, give them to someone." And that's part of my inspiration here. When you commit to living life fully, you learn a lot of lessons, sometimes the hard way. It's good to learn your lessons and make them a part of you, but they mean twice as much when you share them with someone else. So often we think we are all alone in our experiences, but in teaching and sharing you'll find that we're all more closely connected than you think. And your FGs might just have a thing or two to teach you as well...
I have to admit: I have been obsessed with YouTube lately. Well not really obsessed, but I have been searching through and watching all of the fun celeb blogs (The Miley & Mandy Show, Demi & Selena...). And I want you to check this out - it's a short clip from one of Taylor Swift's vlogs.
Now, I love Taylor Swift. I think she is talented and sweet and beautiful and most of all, fearless. I mean, she writes songs about anyone, and she's never afraid of what they will think. But what about this video - do you think she went too far? Sure, it is super-funny. And I bet if you asked Taylor, she'd say he got what he deserved. But for some reason, this just feels like too much to me. Maybe it's just like writing a song, but that seems different - that's art. This is just a joke.
You really just have to be so careful when you decide to put something online. I don't think you should be afraid to say what you want to say, but you should be careful about posting something you'll regret. When we're embarrassed, angry, or broken-hearted, we tend to speak without thinking - things that you may not really feel or believe if you were thinking clearly. But if you post those things on YouTube, Myspace, or Facebook, they're no longer yours - they belong to all 500 of your "friends." You want people to see you as a Fab Gal, not as you in a Drama Queen moment.
What do you think FGs? Did Taylor take it too far? Was it just plain funny? Would you (or have you) put something like that online? Leave a comment to let me know!
One of the most important things that I've learned, and a lesson I'd love to share with you, is this - in all things in life, you will only get as much as you think you deserve. It's quite simple, but I've seen it play out again and again.
Here's how it works: if you're feeling fabulous and good about yourself, you take care of yourself, go after your dreams, and surround yourself with people who love and respect you. On the flip side, when you feel bad about yourself, you don't respect your needs and wishes. You allow for things to fall short and for negative or harmful relationships. It seems like that's just the way it is - like you don't deserve any better. But of course, you do. In fact, you probably have a lot more power over your life than you think.
Here's the sweet deal about this lesson - once you realize it's true, you can begin to make small changes. Use this to your advantage. There's so much for you to do and have and experience - dreams, goals, people that you've been holding yourself from because you didn't know you deserve them. Things won't be insta-perfect. But as you begin to realize what a rock star you really are, things will start to work out as you wish. Because the secret to living the life of your dreams? That's you, Fab Gal.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - We officially have FG readers on every continent! That's awesome. Keep spreading the FG word. :)
There's no better way to give back than to give your time. And there are so many ways to help. It's good for the community, but it makes you feel good too. So this week's Top 10 is full of great places for you to lend a hand.
1. Habitat for Humanity - This organization builds affordable housing for low-income families. You have to be 16 to build, but check out their Youth Program for other ways to help.
2. Special Olympics - They provide athletic opportunities for people with different kinds of disabilities, and they're always in need of volunteers to help with events. Learn more here.
3. Zoo - Many zoos have programs for teens to volunteer. If working with animals is your thing, call up your local zoo to see what opportunities are available.
4. American Red Cross - If you are interested in learning more about the medical field, this is a great place to help out. Use their volunteer finder to see what's available. Your local hospital would probably have volunteer positions as well.
5. Food Bank - Sharing food is probably one of the simplest, and most appreciated, acts of kindness - and food banks could sure use your help. Check out Feeding America to find a food bank in your area.
6. Salvation Army - You know those bell ringers outside the big stores at Christmastime? They're ringing for the Salvation Army. It's a great project to do with friends to spread holiday cheer. Check out their site to learn more.
7. Komen for the Cure - Breast cancer affects a lot of women and families worldwide. Find an event to help raise money for research by going to the Komen website.
8. Support the Troops - There are so many ways to help out and support the US Troops and their families, either by sending care packages, or even donating your cell phone to Cell Phones for Soldiers. A perfect way to give if you don't have a lot of time.
9. Keep America Beautiful - If the environment is your thing, this is the organization for you. They have all kinds of local opportunities, to keep your community lovely. Learn more here.
10. VolunteerMatch - This site is a great starting point for finding great volunteer opportunities in your area. They have many of the organizations listed above, as well as a whole lot more, all in one place. Start looking for your match at here.
Can you put up a good fight? Give 'em your best shot? Do you really even have to? The truth is, most of the time, you don't.
Sometimes, it really does seem like love, or life, is a battlefield. Everyone, everywhere is challenging something or someone. I heard it described like this - we live in a conflict culture, in constant states of arguments. Part of it is because, quite simply - conflict is entertaining, and it sells. It's funny to see Heidi and Lauren or America's Next Top Models caught up in a cat fight. And I guess we like to see our politicians duke it out, as if that proves that they really know what they're doing. Although it certainly doesn't help them get anything done. For the most part, that's okay - as long as it stays in the media. But if you internalize that idea, and start living battle to battle, things can get pretty difficult. It saps your energy, because everything looks like a challenge. Your sister is ruining your life, the traffic is out to get you, and everyone at school must be stupid if they don't understand your strong opinions.
I've been reading this super-awesome book, called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens, by Richard Carlson. And one of the lessons was about facing life's battles - simply put, choose wisely. Whenever a conflict arises, give it a ranking from 1-10 (Doesn't Really Matter on up to Majorly Big Deal). Anything 5 and below, let it go (and if you're unsure, assume you're ranking it too high). Like he says, practicing this technique saves your energy, because you don't waste your time on silly problems, and it makes it a lot easier for you to go after the ones you truly care about. Because your little sis borrowing your flip-flops is not that big of a deal. But what about standing up for your BFF, or taking on a personal challenge? Now those are worth fighting for.
Besides, if you're trying out for reality TV, you could probably stand to lose some drama.
Sorry for the technical difficulties, but the FG site is back! We were down for the day as I was trying to get ready to move The Fab Gal to it's new location. No changes yet, but I'll keep you updated!
How are you doing? If you're feeling a little overwhelmed, you're probably not alone. It seems like this is the busiest time of year - school is in full swing, the holiday season is quickly approaching. There's a lot going on. Sometimes, we fill up our plates really full - school, friends, family, activities, etc. Maybe more full than we can handle. Other times, maybe just one big project or issue on on your brain. When you try to handle your worries all at once, it can seem a little overwhelming. Instead of seeing the big picture, you'll just feel confused. Frazzled. Where can you even begin?
I keep hearing that Jordin Sparks song on the radio: "We live and we learn to take one step at a time, there's no need to rush." And it's so right. Just breaking down a problem into little steps - whether it's a big paper or a personal goal. You can't do it all at once, but you also shouldn't do nothing at all because you're scared to begin. Even if you can only take one little baby step. Because then you can take another. And another. Before you know it, you've walked the whole mile.
So, what is your favorite color? Well, some people say it has a lot to do with personality. Check out what I found out about "color personality," and see if yours matches up!
1. Blue - Dreamy and optimistic, you often have your head in the clouds. Still, you are very compassionate, caring, and always faithful to your friends.
2. Green - You are always real and sensitive to others' needs - you are a peace-loving girl. This makes green-lovers great listeners.
3. Purple - You value being unique and always stay true to yourself. Purple people also tend to be creative and artistic.
4. Orange - You are fun-loving and social, and always the life of the party. You tend to be bold and fearless, and maybe even a little dramatic.
5. Black - You are very sophisticated, and come off as a little mysterious. You keep a lot just beneath the surface.
6. Pink - You are charming and loving towards everyone. Pink-lovers also enjoy getting that extra special treatment.
7. Red - You are passionate, ambitious, and clear about what you want. Red girls are real movers and shakers!
8. Silver - You are thoughtful and considerate of your emotions. You always think about what you want before you act.
9. Yellow - You are sunny and imaginative. You prefer freedom to responsibility, and love to be adventurous!
10. Gold - You have big dreams and are willing to go after them! You are always on-the-go and live life to the fullest.
Okay, so there you go! Does your favorite color match you? How about your BFFs? It's fun to give it a try!
