"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
New Year's Eve is today! Can you believe that? It's almost 2009. This is probably my favorite holiday - there's something exciting about having a whole new year ahead of you, like a blank page. Of course, that new beginning inspires a lot of people to make a resolution.
Are you making a resolution for the new year? I have mixed feelings about hem. I mean, it seems like people expect them to be broken, so it's almost like they don't mean anything. And it seems like "losing weight" is always the #1 resolution. I was just watching the news, and they were talking about how to get "Flat Abs for the New Year." I certainly think making a resolution to work out more or eat more healthy food is wonderful. But seriously, are flat abs really the most important goal for 2009?
Then again, it is nice to have some direction, some goal for the new year. And if you have something you really want to get done, then by all means, go for it! But the cool thing is, even if you don't have a resolution, if you keep moving forward, things will change anyway. I have long since forgotten what my New Year's Resolution was last year, if I had one. But when I look back on the past year, so much changed - I started a new website, went to a new school, got a new hairdo, made new friends - and a million other tings that I couldn't have imagined or expected on January 1st.
So I haven't totally decided if I want to make a resolution. I still have 14 hours. But maybe I'll just create a good motto, or find a theme song. Or I might just go into the year completely resolution-free. Because even if you don't know what's going to happen, if you stay open to change and true to yourself, it will be a good adventure. Promise.
So I want to share another awesome tip from my fave read right now - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens, by Richard Carlson. The suggestion is "Examine Your Headlines." Basically, we all have the stories and parts of our life that we highlight the most in our own minds and share with others. But these parts that we focus on aren't necessarily the whole picture.
When I first read this, I wasn't exactly sure what mine were, or if I even had them. I mean, I'd like to think I have a clear view of my life. But I started thinking back on the past year, and what some of the things are that stood out to me. And the first ones that came to mind were the mistakes I made, the regrets I had, and the times when I slipped up or didn't act like the person that I wanted to be. My headlines were all in the negative. My accomplishments, adventures, new friends, and the times I had stepped out of my box - those were lost somewhere on the back page.
So I think that now, as the year is coming to a close, is the best time of all to "examine your headlines." When you think about 2008, where does your focus go - drama, losses, mistakes? Or are your headlines mostly positive? Because don't get me wrong - it is good to recognize when something doesn't go right. That's how you learn. But your successes deserve some face time, too! And once you recognize your headlines, you can adjust them a little, if you need to. And adjusting your focus will give you a new attitude for the new year.
As the year is coming to its end, it's time to look back on all of 2008 - the good, the bad, and the fabulous. Today, I'm looking back on all the ladies who proved to be true FGs.
1. Miley Cyrus - She started off the year a little rough, with her controversial photos for Vogue. But she proved to be a girl who learns from her mistakes. Plus, she celebrated her 16th birthday at Disneyland with one of her favorite charities, Youth Service America. Pretty sweet!
2. Taylor Swift - 2008 proved to be an even bigger year for Taylor, including mega-record sales and awards too, including Breakout Artist at the Teen Choice Awards. But the best part? She proves that a real girl with real talent (she writes all of her songs) and a big heart can make her dreams come true.
3. Hillary Clinton - No matter what your political beliefs, Hillary Clinton took a big step for us FGs here in the United States. She was the first woman to be a serious candidate for president. Even though she didn't make it all the way, we are that much closer to having a woman in office.
4. Demi Lovato - She went from being a former kiddie on Barney to the star of Disney's Camp Rock and touring with the Jonas Brothers. Her new music has gotten stellar reviews from Rolling Stones, and she's proven to be one FG not falling in the Hollywood trap (Just listen to "La La Land").
5. Selena Gomez - Selena's starpower continued to grow this year. Not only can the girl act, but she can sing, as she proved in Another Cinderella Story. Not only that, but she proved friendship can survive stardom - she and her best friend Demi (#4 on our list) made time to create web videos together for their fans to enjoy.
6. Britney Spears - This one might seem like a strange choice. And it's true that she started off the year with some... strange behavior. But you know what? She has gotten back to work, started turning her life around, and proved that comebacks are definitely possible.
7. Beyonce - This girl can sing! And she's back, with her new album I Am... Sasha Fierce. Not only that, but she has shown her acting abilities and gotten married to long-time boyfriend Jay-Z. A little class and a lot of hard work can take you a long way!
8. Hayden Panetierre - Although this actress is best known as an activist because of her attempt to stop a dolphin hunt in 2007, she continued to use her starpower for good in 2008. She helped raise funds for SaveTheWhalesAgain.com, and spoke out about the election.
9. Jordin Sparks - Last year's American Idol has had big success this year. She won an AMA and sang "The Star Spangled Banner" at the Super Bowl. This real beauty has attributed American Idol to helping her feel more comfortable in her own skin - and that confidence shows!
10. Maya Angelou - This writer has a little more life experience than the other FGs on this list, but that's exactly why she's here! She released her book Letter to My Daughter to share her life lessons with all of her daughters around the world, which is the type of FG unity I love to see.
So, what do you think? Did I miss any FGs on this list? Let me know what you think!
With the start of winter break, I always have lots of plans and to-do lists for what I want to get done (I'm not so good at that whole relaxing thing). Last weekend, I decided to start off by trying to kick a bad habit that had been getting on my nerves. I was coming up with a game plan, and I figured that the easiest way to go about it would be not just quit the habit straight out but to replace the bad one with a good one, like a distraction.
You know what? It's worked. Surprisingly well, actually. Every time I'm about to start, I quickly think of something - anything from "You make the best PB&J sandwiches, ever" to "You're a loyal friend that never breaks a promise." It kicked my habit, has been kinda fun, and proved something about life - the "soup pot" theory.
My mom is the one that taught me this one. Basically, your life will always be full, it just depends what you fill it with. You can fill your life with behaviors, relationships, and ideas that are negative, or maybe even harmful to you. On the other hand, you can fill your life with people that love and respect you, experiences that nourish and teach you, and even thoughts that make you feel good. So if you feel like things aren't quite on track, maybe it's time to check your ingredients. Unfortunately, I've also learned that life's recipe isn't as simple as soup. But you've only got so much time and space in your life, so it's worth it to fill it up right.
Okay, I am going to keep it short today - I don't know about you, but I have a lot of baking and festivities going on today. But I want to wish you all very happy holidays, whatever/whenever/however you celebrate.
You know, it's funny, with all of the hustle and bustle and decorating and presents that goes on, it's so easy to forget what Christmas is really about. I think that can happen no matter what holiday you celebrate. To be honest, when I was little, the presents were the exciting part. I still love them, but somewhere along the line, things change. Why do we spend so much time and money and effort, for just one holiday, if it seems to stress people out so much?
After a month full of wrapping, baking, and shopping, I'm starting to get it. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy Christmas movie - maybe the holidays do mean something more. I guess maybe it's not so much about what you do, but why you do it. It's not just making sugar cookies - it's the fact that we make them together, as a tradition. It's not about buying presents for the gift exchange - it's celebrating how much fun us cousins have when we're together any day of the year. And it's about enjoying simple pleasures - candy canes, gingerbread houses, lights on the tree. Celebrating love, and celebrating life - all that we're blessed with in the last year. That's what Christmas means to me.
What about you, FG? What do your holiday celebrations mean to you? What are your favorite parts?
I hope that wherever the holidays bring you, you get the chance to celebrate your year, FG. You deserve it!
So the holidays are here! Time for family, music, giving, and yes - lots of sweet treats. It's funny, but I think every time I've turned on the TV or opened a magazine lately there's something about overeating (and dieting) through the holidays, the calorie counts of egg nog and gingerbread men, or how much weight people gain on average during this season. Talk about a ho ho whole lot of stress - I haven't even made it to Christmas dinner and I'm almost wishing I could skip to New Year's so I could make the resolution to lose all of this holiday weight I hear that I am going to gain.
It's true that there is a lot deal with over the holidays. And maybe sugar cookies and holiday goodies don't make for a balanced meal. But being overly preoccupied with it isn't healthy either. There's a lot of conflicting messages - first there's all of the delicious recipes, but then there's how bad all of these treats are and why you shouldn't have them. Throw this on top of everything else at this time of year, and it can be a lot to take.
Okay, so that's the problem. What's the solution? Well FG, I think that the smartest thing you can do is keep it in perspective. There is no way, no matter how many candy canes you consume, that you are going to gain 10 pounds over the holidays. And you absolutely deserve to have a wonderful time without worrying about sticking to a diet or avoiding once-a-year treats. And with whatever you deal with this holiday - food, family, or otherwise - remember: no expectations, no reservations. Things may not go perfect, but if you allow yourself to ditch the rules and be as happy as you wish, they will be very merry.
So I thought I would share some more fun quizzes with you. Hopefully you are on winter break (I am!) and will get some time to chill out. Try them with your friends, and let me know what your answers are!
So they say "Beauty is only skin deep," and "It's what's on the inside that counts." But how true is that, really? Does the way we look not matter at all? Is it possible that our outsides do affect us, at least a little bit?
Now, before you write me off, I would say that I really don't consider myself to be shallow or only skin-deep. But I think it's possible that our outsides (the way we look) and our insides (who we are) are a little bit connected. Sometimes, I live by what I call the "Barbie philosophy": Change your look, change your life. When Barbie changes outfits, she changes careers. Often when I'm trying to make a change in my life, or have some really big event coming up, I get a new outfit (or hairdo, or hair color) to match what new attitude I'm trying to project. It doesn't make the change, of course, but it kind of. . . completes it. It's like an actress getting into a part - you really can't be the Wicked Witch without a pointy hat and green make-up. Maybe that's a silly comparison. But I think how we appear can sometimes reflect who we are, or where we are in the process of figuring that out. At least a little bit.
How much do our outsides affect how we are on the inside? Probably only as much as we think it does. I think that sometimes it's okay to let an outside change give us that extra boost of confidence - so long as we don't forget that it's just a tiny reflection of who we are as a whole. And at that rate, I I think our insides have a reverse power on our outsides. Because when you feel confident and happy, you glow. And that's true beauty, inside and out, FG.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What do you think, FG? How important are looks? Should we let them affect us - a little bit, or at all? Let me know what you think, by comment or at The Fab Gal Myspace.
Lately, I've had some convos with FGs about friendships - and what happens when they start to change. Some seem to last forever, but moves, different schools, and new boyfriends can sometimes put a strain on even the best of them. What's a girl to do? Here are some FG tips to make the transitions a little easier.
Keep Contact - If distance is what separates you, find time to catch up with texts (between class, of course), IM, or phone calls. Figure out a time that works for both of you to chat and swap stories. You might find that the distance gives you even more to talk about.
Get into Routine - If you two are both busy chicas, look for opportunities for BFF multi-tasking. Lunch, after-school study sessions, or Friday manicures are great ways to make time for each other without skipping a beat.
Be Honest - If you feel like your friend is leaving you in the cold for her new guy, it's okay to be honest about how you feel. No need to get nasty - just call her up and say, "Hey, I feel like I haven't gotten to see you in a while. I miss you!" That might be all you need to bring her back to your zone.
Mix it Up - If you and your friend end up at different schools with different circles of friends, find ways to share. Invite her to a pizza party with your buds, or join her for her school's basketball game. Look at it like this - you both get to meet new people and stick together at the same time. It's the best of both worlds.
Let it Be - If you feel like there's a growing space between you and your friend, or she hasn't been around for you, it's good to try to settle things out. But if none of the above solutions help, it might be best for you to just give it a (peaceful) break. If you try to push it, things could start to get messy. It hurts to feel like you're losing a friend, but letting it go will give you an opportunity to spend time with FGs who will truly have your back in the long run.
Good books, like good chocolate and good music, are meant to be shared. And I'm still on this great one that I started a while back - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff For Teens, by Richard Carlson. It's full of simple tips to make your life just a little better. And this one is my favorite - #58, "Be Creative in Your Rebellion." Sounds a little crazy, right?
Basically, it works like this - there seems to be an expectation, in the media and our culture, that we should never be satisfied. We should always want to be thinner, more beautiful, more popular, and we shouldn't be happy till we get there. Of course, that's really just a way to sell more products, but we seem to buy into it. If you get into that kind of thinking, you'll become unhappy with yourself. It can leads to all kinds of problems, and it's no fun, either. Carlson's solution: Be rebelliously happy. Make the decision to see how happy you can be without buying into that expectation. Be smart to know that you never needed all of that silly stuff to be happy anyways.
FG Challenge: Find a day this week to be as rebellious as you possibly can! Love your body. Smile at everyone. Wear what you love, eat what you like. Hey, even enjoy math class! See how happy you can be, just as you are. And be sure to let me know how it goes...
You know how much I love quotes. So I thought I'd share a few more of my favorites for a little inspiration pick-me-up.
1. "I believe that a worthwhile life is defined by a kind of spiritual journey and a sense of obligation." – Hillary Rodham Clinton
2. "The important thing is not to think much but to love much; and so do that which best stirs you to love." – St. Teresa
3. "Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way. Be unique. Be what you feel." – Melissa Ethridge
4. "I feel like people expect a lot out of girls, like you're supposed to know who you are and what you want out of life right now. Some girls know. I did. But lots of people don't know. You have to try a lot of things and not worry about what people are thinking." - Ashley Tisdale
5. "Whether you are happy or whether you are sad, it is wise to remember you are really in process." – Maya Angelou
6. "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." – Anna Quindlen
7. "It is not what you give your friend, but what you are willing to give that determines the quality of friendship." – Mary Dixon Thayer
8. "It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis." – Margaret Bonnano
9. "The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud." - Coco Chanel
Whew. Life is pretty crazy sometimes, no? It's funny, because when I've got a lot going on in the present, I get more and more focused on the future. I think about everything that's coming up, and make all kinds of schedules and to-do lists. Okay, that's probably just me. But I think everyone does it to a degree - as if looking ahead will make you more prepared, and you won't be as frazzled as you are now. but it doesn't really help that much, does it? Living in the future just extends your worries beyond what you can control right now. A better solution - just being in the present.
I think that's a Zen-philosophy idea, the attempt to be where you are doing what you're doing, with whoever your with, right this moment. It doesn't seem like it would make that much of a difference, but it totally does. You can't change things that haven't happened, and over-thinking how something might go won't make it that way. Like right now, I keep getting distracted by what I'm going to do this weekend and who I hope to see and what I should be getting done. But there's nothing I can do about that right now.
Staying present will decrease your stress because it will make it easier for you to handle each situation (you can think more clearly when you're not distracted), and because it will make you enjoy each moment more. Think about little kids - they love to experience everything that is around them. So next time you find yourself getting worried or foggy-headed, take a deep breath and remember that you can handle each moment, just as this one, whenever it gets here.
This is the time of year when everyone starts to share... including their colds. It seems to me like everyone starts to get sick right about now. I usually don't talk about health stuff, but I am a strong believer that staying healthy can keep down your stress, especially during busy times of the year like this. So here are some quick tips for staying healthy this season:
Stick to the Routine - Between big tests, shopping, holiday parties, and everything else going on, it's easy to skip out on your usual exercise and start eating more on the go. There's no need to miss out on the holiday treats or festive fun because you need to "diet" or "stay healthy." But make sure that you squeeze in time for physical activity and some good, healthy food. Your body will thank you for it.
Get Your Beauty Sleep - For me, lack of sleep is one of the main reasons I get sick. If you don't get some rest, your body won't have the energy to take on the germs that make you sick. Try to get a few good nights of sleep every week.
Take a Break - I think another reason that people get sick more often this time of year is stress. I'm not sure how that works, but there is definitely a connection between the mind and how well the body can fight illness. If you find yourself getting caught up in worries and to-do lists, take a breather and do something you enjoy to relax.
Boost Your C - Vitamin C is important to have when you're feeling sick or trying to prevent illness. That's why it's also really important to keep eating healthy meals when you're feeling busy. Make sure you eat lots of fruit or drink some OJ to boost your C intake.
Enjoy! - There are so many great things about winter - breaks from school, family time, ice skating....the list goes on. Give yourself a chance to enjoy those little things (even if you're really more of a summer gal). It will make you feel happier, and although I don't know for sure if there's a connection between happiness and preventing sickness, I'm sure it couldn't hurt.
I don't know how many of you know about "Sasha Fierce." I guess I have just been really into celebrity gossip lately. Anyways, Sasha Fierce is basically Beyonce's alter ego - the part of her that she taps into when she's performing. Apparently, the real Beyonce is more shy and reserved, so being Sasha helps her be confident and sassy when she's strutting her stuff in glamorous get-ups on stage.
I think some people's first reaction is, Wow, I didn't know Beyonce was crazy! But I definitely don't think she is. In fact, I think it's kind of a cool idea. I imagine we all have different sides to us, or at least ways we wish we could be if we weren't too shy or too scared or feeling so trapped in how we are "supposed" to act. Sometimes, it's no big deal (or maybe even better) to stay toned down or hold back in a certain situation. But it can also be really cool, and incredibly liberating to be that other side of you, let go of your reservations, and try some ting new.
FG Challenge: Next time you're feeling stuck on a problem, try walking in your Sasha shoes. Listen to those "If only..." statements, and imagine how you might be able to handle the situation differently than you usually would. If you're having trouble tapping into that other side, try envisioning what one of your heroes would do if they were standing in your flip-flops. Like, What would my mom do right now? or What would Tyra Banks say in this situation? Of course, your decision is ultimately your own, but sometimes it helps to see things from another side.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - This video is totally my favorite now - Beyonce says Sasha sings this one!
As you know, I'm really trying to get in the holiday spirit this year. And one of the most simple ways to do that is music. So for this week's top 10, I am going to share the FG choices for holiday CDs. Check them out for an extra boost of holiday cheer!
1. Acoustic Hearts of Winter - Aly & AJ(Must listen: "Greatest Time of Year")
2. Rejoyce: The Christmas Album - Jessica Simpson
3. Let It Snow! - Michael Buble
4. Disney Channel Holiday - Disney Channel Stars (my fave - "Last Christmas" by Ashley Tisdale!)
5. Cheetah-Licious Christmas - The Cheetah Girls (So Cheetah-fabulous!)
6. Now That's What I Call Christmas! - Various Artists
7. The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection - Taylor Swift
8. All Wrapped Up! - Hollywood Records Artists (this includes the JoBros & DemiLovato)
9. Music From the OC: Mix 3 - Have A Very Merry Chrismukkah - Various Artists (Random, but so fun!)
10. My Kind of Christmas - Christina Aguilera(An older one, but that girl can sing!)
So those are my faves. How about you, FGs? What's your fave holiday music? Or is it so not your thing? Leave a comment to let me know what you think.
Yesterday, when I was out shopping, I just had to pick up a mag with Britney Spears on the cover. I try not to be too celeb-addicted, but at least it wasn't a trashy tabloid. I was just so excited to see her looking happy and healthy after all of the press that was out about her struggles the past year or so. Struggles that were well-documented b the paparazzi, waiting to see what she would do next. In fact, her music got very little attention compared to her personal life. It makes me wonder - why do we give more attention to people with drama?
One FG was telling me recently about what it had been like starting a new school this year. While it was mostly going really well, she said she felt like she got a lot less attention than the girls who caused all the drama. They were often fighting with their friends, or having an issue with some guy - and people wanted to know about it, talk to them, and be in on the action. Obviously not the same as what went on with Britney Spears, but think how little news coverage other stars, like Christina Aguilera or Reese Witherspoon, received in comparison for their highly successful careers but relatively normal lives.
I'm not exactly sure how or why things work out this way. I guess we just want a story - we want juicy gossip, we want excitement. But it certainly puts our values in the wrong place. It's almost like it's better to be a little wild child or drama queen so you can be noticed. But it's not worth it, and it won't make you feel happy with yourself. The good news is this - if you work hard at your talents, embrace your unique abilities, and choose to lead a life without drama, people will eventually notice. Take Beyoncé, America Ferrara, or Ashley Tisdale for example. Believe me, the respect and positive attention is totally worth the wait.
I hope you had a nice long holiday weekend to relax, eat, shop, or hang out. If not, I hope the holidays bring you a break really soon! For me, this time of year equals not only lots of food, but lots of family time. I have to say, spending time with some of my related FGs this weekend reminded me of one of the most beautiful parts of having loved ones - sharing experiences.
There is something about togetherness that makes every piece of life more meaningful. It makes the good times more joyful - early morning shopping, girls' nights, random adventures. But at the same time, having someone to share with makes the bad times a little better. It's funny how it works out that way. So often, we want to withdraw when life gets tough. We don't want to spread the negativity to someone else. While that's a kind gesture, it surely doesn't make us feel any better. It just feels lonely.
What I'm saying is that every experience is worth sharing with someone you trust. You might be surprised how good it feels to be open. And believe it or not you both might find that your experiences aren't so different after all. Lessons learned seem to transcend age, distance, and all other boundaries we think exist. Life is a journey, a rollercoaster, a highway, or whatever the songs all seem to say. But it sure is a lot more fun when you've got someone in the passenger seat.
ttyl. lol. jk! Texting, IM, Facebook, & Myspace. These days, technology has become a huge part of how we communicate. A much smaller part is done face to face, or even voice to voice. Don't get me wrong - I think technology is awesome. We can talk ot whoever whenever about everything and anything. But sometimes, this way of communicating can have its downfalls.
The tricky part is that a lot is lost when you aren't seeing or hearing someone speak. Body language and tone of voice give us cues about what a person means. Of course, it's hard to mix messages when the conversation is about something straightforward, like making plans for the weekend or what's on the next test. But if you're trying to deal with bigger issues via the internet or texting, it's bound to get sticky.
I've known people who use e-mails or texting to deal with conflict, because they feel like they won't be able to say what they want to say if they try to do it in person. To be honest, I've done it myself. Once, I was so mad at one of my friends because I heard that he had lied to me. I wasn't sure how I could deal with him the next morning at school, so I sent him a message saying how hurt and angry I was. I thought it was well-written enough, but we got nowhere. We both kept repeating ourselves, and nothing got resolved. Looking back, I think all of that confusion might have been avoided had we just decided to have a real talk.
While saying things out loud isn't always easy, it's usually better. It's easier to be clear about what you mean, and it will save you from misunderstandings or accidentaly stepping on someone's toes - and it's way quicker. Plus, you won't have to worry about someone clicking "forward" on a message you regret. Most of all, people will respect you for being open, even when it's difficult. That's the FG way.
